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REVIEW: 3 Boars & A Wolf Walk Into A Bar…, by Eric Alan Westfall

Title: 3 Boars & A Wolf Walk Into A Bar…

Author: Eric Alan Westfall

Genre: Paranormal, Fairy Tale

LGBTQ+ Category: MM, MMM, MMMM Gay

Publisher: Self

Pages: 156

Reviewer: Pat Henshaw

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About The Book

It’s the last straw when three prudish pigs play a nasty trick on the set. So where else would Wolf go to plan the perfect payback, but Harry’s Behind the Scenes Bar, Baths & Grill?

Soaking wet when he arrives at the back door, Harry’s dragon-magick fireplace soon gets Wolf’s fur mostly dry. Shifting to his human, silver-hair-to-his-bare-butt self, he’s almost done when the door opens again. 

And what to his wondering eyes does appear but a trio of boorish boar brothers—without a single reindeer!—all in a row from short to not-very-tall: Guy, Gresham and Grant Graham.

Wolf’s idea is so brilliant, it’s definitely dawn coming up like thunder, “outer China ‘crost the Bay.” (Wolf really likes Kipling). A maybe mean, surely sneaky, snake-in-Eden idea.

Payback is a dish best served hot…and hard.

Join the fun as payback plays out. There’s help from Tom Thumb, fine food, expensive bottles of Harry’s Special Reserve Dragon’s Own wine (the only thing which gets a shifter drunk), Death by Chocolate, Lady Flame, a private tour of the baths. Plus rooms of straw and sticks and bricks and a sort of a kind of maybe Easter Egg. 

Fair warning: there’s a lot of huffing and puffing as part of the plan. Just not at doors.

47,053 words of story.

The Review

With tongue firmly in cheek, Westfall tells the story of the wolf and the three little pigs of children’s story fame. This retelling, however, is seriously not for children nor adults who don’t like stories with a prurient bent. 

The original story—after the wolf blows down the straw and stick pig houses, and tries to best the brick one—ends with the wolf in a pot of water when he falls down the chimney. And this is where Westfall starts his tale, with the sopping wolf stalking away from the set of the fairytale and promising revenge.

Told from the viewpoint of the much aggrieved wolf, Westfall’s account becomes an oftentimes laugh out loud funny romp through gay clichés and gay icons as Wolf, who wouldn’t mind being called Big Bad, plans for the downfall of the priggish piggies Guy, Gresham, and Grant Graham. At times, Wolf’s visions of revenge reminded me of Wile E. Coyote’s many plots and subsequent trips to the Acme Company for aid.

Instead of Acme, Westfall’s Wolf relies on the enticements of Harry’s Behind the Scenes Bar, Baths & Grill, owned by the legendary dragon and run by his precision crew. What begins as a slightly wacky story edges past slapstick before rounding the bend into erotica. Wolf wants to prove to himself and the world that the upright and moralistic piggies are as lasciviously wanton as he is.

At least that’s the plan. What ensues may or may not end up at the outcome he envisions. No matter. The story becomes a sometimes charming, sometimes raunchy, always entertaining foray into one of the mainstay tales of our youth.  

All that said, who should read this book? Anyone with a sense of humor about sex. Anyone who’s fully versed in gay culture, its icons, and its clichés and who aren’t afraid of having them mocked. Anyone who thinks the original children’s tale is laughable and ripe for retelling, and who believes the idea of a wolf eating pigs can be taken in a number of different ways. 

Westfall proves to be a charming and witty writer whose light touch keep the action hopping and the reader amused from beginning to end.

The Reviewer

Pat Henshaw:

  1. Is a she, not a he.
  2. Writes MM romances.
  3. Has interviewed Arlo Guthrie, Big Bird, Fred Rogers, Liberace, and Vincent Price.
  4. Has lived and worked on all three US coasts and in the middle of the country, too.
  5. Has been a reviewer, costumer, librarian, and teacher.
  6. Has ridden an elephant, touched the pyramids, and stood at the edge of a volcano.
  7. Believes love is essential to everyone’s happiness.
  8. She wants you to remember: Every day is a good day for romance!