by
Pages: 192
Pages: 192
Pages: 192
What is normal anyway?
Jordan is pretty sure he's not normal. It's not that he's gay. It's other things, like the fact that he tends to stick to himself. He's also the president of the book club (which isn't exactly popular) and at the worst possible times, he has scary panic attacks.
As Jordan prepares to enter Grade Eleven, his best friend Emma tries to convince him that this is going to be his year of change, but Jordan isn't so sure. He doesn't want change, he wants to be in control.
Jordan's world is turned upside down when he meets Nathan who has a strong disregard for the rules and doesn't seem to be afraid of anything. And when Nathan starts to show interest in Jordan as more than a friend, things start to get ... out of control.
Will Jordan find the strength to let go, or will he push away his chance to find love?
Not Not Normal is a book for anyone who feels like nobody else understands them.
It's a story about overcoming grief, dealing with anxiety, and the power of love when someone accepts you for you are and gives you the strength to become the person you've always wanted to be.
Editors:
Cover Artists:
Genres:
Pairings: M-M
Heat Level: 1
Romantic Content: 1
Ending: Click here to reveal
Character Identities: Gay
Protagonist 1 Age: Under 18
Protagonist 2 Age: Under 18
Tropes: Coming of Age, Death of Parent, First Time, Opposites Attract
Word Count: 27 000
Setting: City of Toronto
Languages Available: English
NATHAN WALKED WEST from the school and then took a winding road down into the valley.
“Where are we going?” Jordan asked.
“You’ll see.”
Eventually, they got to a footpath that seemed to head off to the south. “This way,” Nathan said and turned through a field of weeds taller than their heads and into a clearing surrounded by trees. The sounds of the city disappeared.
“What are we doing here?” Jordan asked.
“We, my friend, are going to find the actor in you.”
Jordan stopped Nathan. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
“What?”
“I’m not sure I can act out The Swordsman’s Destiny.”
“What are you most afraid of?” Nathan asked.
“There’s a kiss at the end of the story between Antonio and Sebastian. I’m not sure if I can do that
in front of the whole school.” Jordan said this all very quickly, his face growing hot.
Nathan smiled at him. “Would you rather I kiss Yan at the end of the story?”
“No.” Jordan hesitated. “I guess it’s not just the kiss that scares me. It’s that I’m not in control of how people will react. What if they boo, or yell, or . . . ?”
Nathan shrugged. “That’s the point of acting it out — to make people feel something. And you can never control what other people feel.”
“I don’t like things being out of my control.”
“Do you trust me?” Nathan asked.
“Yes,” Jordan answered nervously.
“Just remember, you’re safe here and nobody can see or hear you but me.”
“Okay . . .”
Nathan got a sly grin on his face. “Do you like to sing?”
“No!” Jordan was horrified.
“Why?”
“I can’t,” Jordan protested.
“Everyone can sing. Some just do it better, that’s all. Now, come on. Do what I do.”
Nathan sang a scale. Jordan didn’t know much about singing, but he could tell that Nathan was among the group that did it better.
“Now you try,” Nathan said.
“No.”
“Why not? No one can hear you out here.”
Jordan opened his mouth a bit, then closed it.
“No. I’m . . . too embarrassed.”
“In front of me?” Nathan sounded disappointed. “But I thought you trusted me.”
Jordan felt very uncomfortable. It was like his skin didn’t fit right.
Nathan frowned. “Maybe this was a bad idea. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” He
turned and slowly headed toward the path.
Jordan could tell that Nathan was trying to help. Really help — not like others who said they wanted to help and just forced him to do things. He did what he never expected he’d do, standing in a forest in the middle of the city.
“La, la, la, la, la, la, la,” he sang, softly.
Nathan turned and smiled so widely, Jordan thought that Nathan's head would split open.
“That was awesome!”
“No. No — it was terrible.”
“Don’t you dare. You have a great voice. Try it again and, this time, if you’re scared, just close your eyes. Pretend I’m not even here.”
Nathan sang another scale. Jordan closed his eyes and sang it back. It may have been a bit wobbly, but he made it through the scale.
“You see, you can do things you didn’t think you could do.”
“But it’s just in front of you!” Jordan said.
“It’s still a start,” Nathan said. “You know that you can do it in front of me, and when you’re comfortable with that, you can try it in front of X-Libris and by the time the presentation comes along you’ll be able to do it in front of everyone.”
“You mean singing?”
“I mean acting out the scene.”
“You really think I can do it?” Jordan asked.
“It’s not what I think that matters. If you’re ever going to get past your fears, you need to do it for you. You have to do it because you want to, not me. If you can do that, I think you’re going to be an amazing Antonio, and I’ll be there for you, whatever you need.”
Jordan stared at Nathan, stunned.
“Come on. This is getting way too serious.”
Nathan grabbed Jordan’s hands and spun them both around until they dropped from dizziness. Jordan lay beside Nathan, staring up at the sky.
“This place is magical.”
“I discovered it just after I moved to Toronto. I come here as often as I can. It’s where I can let my imagination go wild.”
“What do you imagine?”
“Sometimes that I’m alone on an island. Sometimes I’m a wild animal on the African savannah.”
“Like a meerkat?” Jordan teased.
“No. A lion!”
Nathan got up on his hands and knees and stalked around, roaring. He looked over and charged, positioning himself over a giggling Jordan. Nathan stopped, looking down at Jordan’s face. He bowed his head slightly.
Jordan’s heart was racing. He watched as Nathan’s lips parted. They were a beautiful shade of red, and full. Before he thought about what he was doing, Jordan lifted his head up and quickly kissed Nathan. With his head now safely back on the ground, Jordan was terrified that he’d made a bad decision and might have ruined everything. What he saw was Nathan, his wide eyes shining, and a huge smile on his face.
Nathan slowly lowered his head toward Jordan and kissed him back.
Jordan’s heart exploded into a thousand smiles. This felt so right, but it also scared him. He rolled out from under Nathan.
“What time is it?” Jordan asked.
“I don’t know. Almost five I guess.”
“I gotta get home. Dad’ll be expecting me.”
They got up and brushed themselves off. Jordan took his time, making sure every blade of grass and
each fragment of leaf was removed from his clothes.
“So, how do you feel about acting out the part of Antonio now?” Nathan asked.
“Kissing you in the woods is a lot different than kissing you in front of the whole school. I’ll have to
think about it,” Jordan said.
“While you’re thinking about it, just remember this.”
Nathan kissed him one more time. “Now, let’s get you home.”
COLLAPSEThe book has a character that deals with panic attacks, anxiety, and the loss of his
mother.
This is not a “coming out book” but rather a book about coming of age as a gay teen who has many of the same challenges as other kids in his school who aren’t gay.
Not Not Normal is also about a love of reading and the power of the written and spoken word.
This is a book about the gay teens that you don't always see depicted in mainstream media.
This is a book about those that are shy, have only a few friends and are dealing with lots of things at home.
Not Not Normal is a book for anyone who feels like nobody else understands them.
It's a story about overcoming grief, dealing with anxiety, and the power of love when someone accepts
you for who you are and gives you the strength to become the person you've always wanted to be.
