Fall for You

But when they started their freshman year, Sebastian decided he would make up for lost time by dating his way through the female student body at the University of Oregon.  Sebastian still made time for him, but it was rare during their first two years of college for Sebastian not to have at least one date on the weekend.

Ethan hadn’t understood what the churning emotions were each time Sebastian talked about a new woman.  Later, he recognized the feeling was jealousy.

There had been a time during his sophomore year, driven by those feelings of jealousy and his newfound awareness he was gay, he’d gone out.  Most of the time, with a frequency that matched Sebastian’s frenzied dating life.  Ethan resolved to find someone and forget about the man he most wanted, his best friend, so he headed to a well-known bar off-campus.

Although he’d gone home with guys, nothing progressed past blowjobs.  For one, it solidified the fact he was gay.  Despite knowing, Ethan had no clue what held him back from going further with the willing men he’d met, but something stopped him.

After his break-up with his long-time girlfriend, Sebastian became a constant in Ethan’s life again.  Their friendship had never strained during their first years of college, and they grew closer when Sebastian found himself single.

During the summer, they decided they wanted to rent an off-campus apartment and live together.  Ethan believed they would request a room together in the dorms, but Sebastian wanted to ditch the dorms and find their own place.  Their parents had agreed to it although it would be more expensive.

More than once, Ethan had wanted to look for a place before they were all rented, but Sebastian said he would handle everything.

“Don’t worry.  I’ve got it covered.”

And now they were moving in together, Ethan found himself nervous about having his feelings show at the most inopportune moments.

Their freshman year, they were assigned separate rooms in different buildings.  And being so far apart from each other became a pain in the ass.  More often than not, Ethan would stay at Sebastian’s place, or Sebastian’s at Ethan’s.  Unless Sebastian had a date.

It had been easy to hide his feelings then.  He wasn’t so sure his desire wouldn't show in such close quarters.  But when Sebastian brought up living together, there wasn't a reason not to, and he agreed.  Hundreds of excuses became plain as they drove closer to their destination but Ethan didn't voice them aloud.

But his eyes kept being drawn back to Sebastian, his heart kicking in his chest as he took in Sebastian’s tanned arm draped over the steering wheel.  Each time Sebastian caught Ethan looking at him, he would give him that easy smile.  The smile made every man want to be his friend and every woman fall in love with him.

Although their friendship was an easy one, Ethan sometimes wondered how they grew so close when they were so different.

Their parents were best friends in high school, and he and Sebastian had been born weeks apart.  Their parents worried they would grow tired of each other after being forced together almost every day, but they surprised everyone by becoming even closer than their own parents.  They depended on each other and that hadn’t changed.

Sebastian was the outgoing one.  The life of the party and he attracted people to him without effort.  He was six three and towered over most.  Along with short blond hair, he had a muscular body that reminded Ethan of a football player.  Add good looks and a quick laugh, he had a lightness about him that drew people.

Ethan was about three inches shorter with black hair and dark green eyes.  He was most comfortable with a computer or a book in front of him, and most of the time, he didn't care about what people thought about him.  Although not cocky, he had confidence in who he was and what he wanted out of life.

When Sebastian had told him about his break-up, the simmering anxiety that had been his constant for years stopped.  He had known he and Sebastian were closer than most friends.  But it wasn’t until those feelings had bubbled to the surface that he’d grasped how far beyond friendship he’d gone.

Although Ethan, excited to admit to himself what he’d denied for years, still had a major hurdle.  The only hurdle that mattered.

Sebastian was straight.

He never made things easy on himself.  Because of his feelings and knowing he would have no chance with Sebastian, he jumped at the opportunity to live with his friend.