College Rose Romances, Book 5
by
- Loving Aidan
- Steven's Heart
- Andrew's Prayer
- Becoming Rory
- Forgiving James
James Puffton knew this day would come. As a fallible young man, he’d made all the wrong choices. He’d cheated on his girlfriend with a guy. More than once. And he’d used her—a shield, keeping his perfect image safe. Now that she knew, Jim’s life turned upside down. Faith has always been Jim’s guide, but when it leads him to the most flamboyantly gay freshman he’s ever seen, he wonders if God is punishing him. He can’t deny his feelings, but when people find out, will Tyler be in danger?
Tyler Montgomery was terrified to come to campus. An incident last semester made clear the school wasn’t as safe as officials liked to pretend. When he passes out drunk after making a pass at a handsome young jock, he discovers that he was taken care of by school bully Jim Puffton. Tyler freaks, but Jim doesn’t push. He walks away. Then Jim does something profound that makes Tyler want to ignore all Jim’s terrifying history and trust him, sealing that trust with a kiss in front of everyone. But all Jim’s old friends are homophobic bullies. For Tyler, campus is suddenly a dangerous place to be.
Publisher: Independently Published
Cover Artists:
Genres:
Pairings: M-M
Heat Level: 4
Romantic Content: 5
Ending: Click here to reveal
Character Identities: Gay
Protagonist 1 Age: 18-25
Protagonist 2 Age: 18-25
Tropes: Coming Out / Closeted, Hurt / Comfort, Love Can Heal / Redemption
Word Count: 75000
Setting: New England, USA
Languages Available: English
Series Type: Same Universe / Various Characters
Chapter 1
JAMES FRANCIS PUFFTON hadn’t cried since his grandma died in high school. But he was crying now, clutching at a towel that had been half-ripped off him a half-dozen times during the physical part of her rage. He’d known Nat a long time. Usually, the physical part of her rage got followed by apologies, by crying, by the two of them having make up sex. There were no apologies this time. Not from Nat.
He’d tried. Of course, he’d tried! But she was having none of it. Her finger was pointed determinedly at the dresser, at his phone. It was a demand.
How had this gone wrong? He’d left her half naked and just waiting for him to brush his teeth—her pet peeve. He’d returned to find her dressed and his stash of mags spread across the inadequate institutional bed. Pictures of men. He’d gotten himself excited earlier, so he’d be ready, anxious. He’d used the mags that should have been hidden away.
READ MOREBut they weren’t hidden enough.
He endured the screaming. He endured the pointing and the pounding. The nails against his chest. The sharp slap that tore his cheek—how that stung after the fresh application of aftershave. He was too stunned by his own stupidity to even register the words. The meaning was clear enough.
She knew.
Nat knew. She knew he jerked to boys. Panicked to truthfulness, he’d spilled his guts. She knew he wanted to. Knew he’d done more. Knew it’d happened while they’d been together.
She knew he was a coward. She knew he was a cheater. She knew, worst of all, that he couldn’t function with her without the mags to “prime” himself.
She begged him to be bisexual. She promised she’d forgive him.
His feeble “I could try,” hadn’t satisfied her. He couldn’t blame her for that. It was a miserable thing to do to someone you were supposed to care about.
Nat pointed again to the phone. Emphatic. She wanted to go home, and it was too late for her to risk that alone.
“Are you going to tell anyone?” It was about the most sensible thing he’d managed to get to come out of his mouth.
“Probably.”
A sob escaped him, and maybe the hurt he felt inside managed to find its voice, because her voice softened.
“We’ll have to talk about it. But I can’t even look at you right now.” She nodded at the phone again.
Jim clutched at the towel and tapped the glass. His voice wasn’t steady. “Hey man. Yeah, yeah, I know. I need ya to do me a solid.” He nodded. This at least he could do. Banish the tears. Steady the voice. Sort of. “Yeah. No, just a spat. You know how it is. I need you to walk her home, ’kay? Yeah. No, we’re fine. We’ll be fine. Ten minutes?”
“I’ll meet him in the lobby.”
Jim cursed under his breath. “Nat… Come on.”
“Downstairs. Tell him. Now.” There was a threat in those words. She was going to have exclusive access to his best friend for ten minutes. Ten minutes when Jim wouldn’t be able to deflect, wouldn’t be able to forestall. Ten minutes when she could tell him anything she wanted while he walked her to her dorm in the quad.
Jim nodded quickly. “No, it’s fine, she’s just kinda uncomfortable, and that’s totally my fault. Just make sure she gets home safe. She’ll meet you in the lobby.” He tapped the glass again and set the phone aside. He felt the lump in his throat, the fear. “Please don’t tell him.”
She stood up. When he finally met her burning gaze, she slapped him hard again. “I can’t believe you.” She shook her head and stormed out. The slam of the door ensured that the whole hall, had they somehow been only partially deaf, now knew about the fight.
He stood, trembling, for about two minutes before he rushed to gather the remnants of the magazine. He stuffed the ripped pages into his backpack and quickly removed every other mag he’d stashed in his room. It was a small collection. He hated jerking to the internet. Paper just felt better. More distant maybe? Jim slammed a fist into the mattress as he sat, stuffing the mags at the bottom of the bag and covering them up with some textbooks.
Right now, he knew he had to get the magazines, all of them, out of his room. If Nat did tell anyone, they’d demand to search the room. They’d want him to prove them wrong, to prove her wrong. Fuck.
Jim dressed quickly, in his running gear, and ran down the back staircase, with his backpack hastily pulled over one shoulder. If he got on the bus to one of the neighboring towns now, he could dispose of the magazines and still get back.
Lousy fucking way to spend a Saturday.
People already noticed. He tried to ignore the crass comments. Better they think it something crass than guess the truth. Instead, Jim rushed past. His anger sat heavy on his shoulders, the way it might in a game when they were losing, and everyone who knew him knew not to press him hard when he was angry.
Running meant he was long gone from the building even before Nat met Dunk at the door. Once he was outside, he took off. His feet pounding into the pavement didn’t hurt, it just gave him rhythm for his thoughts, a pattern, something he could fuel with the certainties of what he needed to do.
He was sweat-slicked and stank, he was sure, by the time he got on the bus, but on a Saturday, most of the other riders were already too drunk to care. Jim watched the streetlights pass by, shivering. It was a twenty-minute bus ride, more with stops—by the end of it, Jim was certain his life was over.
COLLAPSEWhile this is a series and it is beneficial to read the series in order to fully understand past events, it can be read on its own—though there are certainly things that will make more sense if read in order. It will, however, spoil events of previous stories in the series, since it refers to those events.
This is a redemption story dealing with one of the bullies from earlier in the series. If you're in the camp of believing people don't deserve a chance at redemption, no matter the circumstances of their actions, you probably won't enjoy this book. Jim, without question, did wretched things in the past. I believe the redemption arc here is compelling, but if you are in that camp, no arc is going to be compelling enough.
