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Hidden Blade

by Kaje Harper

Sometimes willpower isn't enough.

Cam

Social anxiety's been my constant companion for twenty-three years, sometimes in the background, sometimes silencing me and yanking my guts out in the nearest trash can. No matter how much I love playing music, I'm never going to get up on a stage and perform in front of a crowd. But since I met Erik, and was asked to join his band Hellsbane, that knowledge hurts worse.

No heart (even Erik's) or dick (even Erik's) is big enough to carry me past my limits, but God, I wish there was a way.

Erik

Life's damned unfair when a guy with the voice of a hard-rock angel and a songwriting talent like Cam's can only post anonymous videos online. But you can't cure anxiety with wanting, or willpower. My drummer needs to quit trying to push Cam onstage with us before he breaks.

Rocktoberfest's our goal, and touring with Hellsbane was my only ambition until I met Cam. Now I can't have everything I love in one place, but dammit, I wish there was a way.

A first-times, life challenges, coming out, rockstar romance.

Hidden Blade is part of the multi-author The Road to Rocktoberfest 2022 series. Each book can be read as a standalone, but why not read them all and see who hits the stage next? Hot rockstars and the men who love them, what more could you ask for? Kick back, load up your kindle and enjoy the men of Rocktoberfest!

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Excerpt:

Erik

It began with a song. Well, a voice and a song. And a look. A combo that practically knocked me off my creaky wooden chair in the cafe, which is hard to do because after fifteen years in the music business, I’ve heard a lot of amazing voices and a lot of good songs. But this kid. Jesus.

He came out on the little stage and sat down sideways on a stool, not making eye contact with the audience. Some guy— a friend or a roadie about his age with a mass of dreadlocks and jeans draped with chains— set up a modest amp and plugged him in while the kid fiddled with his Ibanez, tuning strings that sounded just fine to me. Then his friend set the mic in front of him, gave him a thump on the shoulder, and left the stage.

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The kid glanced at the audience once, eyes so blown wide and dark I couldn’t make out their color even though I was sitting close. His long hair lifted around his face, and when he swept the clinging strands back impatiently, they crackled with static. Without an intro, or even his name, he played the first chord, picked his way through an intricate run of notes, opened his mouth, and sang.

And fuck, he had the tone and the range. He could growl like Jeff Becerra and then soar clean and pure, soft like an angel, or sharp as a knife. He never faced the crowd again. Sat sideways, stared offstage at a wall like the flat paint was his hope of salvation, and sang about pain and transcendence. He didn’t even let one song end before segueing into the next, leaving the rest of us confused about whether to applaud or hold fire and wait.

After his third song, before the last note had faded, he unslung his guitar and stood. We were on our feet by then, shouting and stomping, even some devil horns hitting the air in this modest cafe that held maybe fifty people. He waved behind his back as he hurried off the stage, ducked around the little curtain on the side, and disappeared.

To my left, my drummer said, “Who the fuck was that and why the fuck are you letting him get away?”

COLLAPSE

About the Author

I get asked about my name a lot. It's not something exotic, though. “Kaje” is pronounced just like “cage” – it’s an old nickname.

I live in Minnesota, where the two seasons are Snow-removal and Road-repair, where the mosquito is the state bird, and where winter can be breathtakingly beautiful. Minnesota’s a kindly, quiet (if sometimes chilly) place and it’s home now.

I’ve been writing for far longer than I care to admit (*whispers – forty years*), mostly for my own entertainment. I mainly publish M/M romance (with added mystery, fantasy, historical, SciFi…) I also have a few Young Adult stories released under the pen name Kira Harp.

My husband finally convinced me that after all that time writing for fun, I really should submit something, somewhere. My first professionally published book, Life Lessons, came out from MLR Press in May 2011. I have a weakness for closeted cops with honest hearts, and teachers who speak their minds, and I had fun writing the four novels and three freebie short stories in the series. I’ve been delighted by the reception Mac and Tony have received.

I now have a good-sized backlist in ebooks and print, both free and professionally published. A complete list with links can be found on my Books page.
I also have  an author page on Goodreads where I do a lot of book reviews. You can find me to chat there– I hang out on Goodreads a lot because I moderate the  Goodreads YA LGBT Books group there. I also post free short YA stories on that group, more than 50 of them so far. Or find me on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/KajeHarper