Unreasonable Doubt

I smirked. “Please tell me that this hanging out won’t get you arrested for indecent exposure. You’re an adult. If you want to bring him back to your room, you can. It might make me uncomfortable, but not as much as having to post bail for my son after he’s charged with lewd public behavior.”

My back was turned to him while I flipped omelets, unaware that Riley had entered the kitchen.

“Who was being lewd in public?” he asked, startling me.

I turned to see he had grabbed the uneaten strip of bacon from Tim’s hand and took a hearty bite, eliciting a glare from my son.

“Tim and his boyfriend,” I answered before putting the finished eggs onto three separate plates then supplementing them with equal shares of bacon. I put the dishes at our usual spots and took a seat.

Tim used his hand to put another piece of meat to his lips. “We were just making out. No clothes were removed. God!” He took a bite after contorting his face to express how I was making an issue of nothing.

I sighed. “You did notice that I put forks and knives on the table, didn’t you?”

Riley laughed then used his fingers to grab his bacon and take a bite. He looked over to me with a mischievous grin as he chewed. His teasing was so cute that I almost encouraged him to do it again. Instead, I rolled my eyes and used a fork and knife to set an example.

“Tonight’s the big night,” Tim said after swallowing some of his omelet. “Get your asses ready for the auction block.” He snickered at the thought.

“Don’t remind me,” I grumbled. I had been trying to push that thought from my head the past few days.

Riley, as promised, had tried to choose something sexy for me to wear from my apparently dowdy wardrobe. He had sighed and huffed as he rummaged through my shirts and slacks, frowning at each option. Finally, he had given up and instructed me to buy something new before the event. I hadn’t.

“What are you wearing tonight?” I asked him, hoping he would tell me it was a suit. Buying myself a jacket and slacks that had a more tailored, contemporary fit might satisfy my roommates while still providing me comfort. I could run a shopping errand after breakfast.

Riley looked like he was pondering. “I don’t know. Maybe just my black-mesh jockstrap and some footwear.” He turned to Tim, ignoring my open-mouthed gape. “Would you wear black or white sneakers with that?”

Tim tried not to grin, but he failed. “Oh, I’d wear the black. Not that I care about matching, but you don’t want the brightness of the footwear to distract from the rest of your outfit.”

As if anyone would be looking at Riley’s sneakers if he was sporting a see-through jockstrap on stage. “Well, I’m wearing a suit.”

“Dad!” Tim frowned. “You want people to bid on you—not choose a coffin for your funeral.”

“I think it would show some class,” I replied, giving Riley a look of reproach for his ridiculous jock suggestion.

Riley chuckled. “Didn’t know we were taking the winners to dinner at an accountants’ convention.” He turned his head to my son. “I told him to shop for something new. All he has in his closet are relaxed-fit business suits and shirts along with the occasional Great Gatsby casual wear.”

“What’s Great Gatsby?” Tim asked, loudly chewing on a piece of toast.

“One of the books you failed to read in school.” I shook my head while taking a sip of coffee. “And my clothes are just fine.”

“Not for tonight they’re not,” Riley countered. “Tim, go with your father to pick out something that won’t make him look like he’s wearing the outfit he wore to Ronald Regan’s inauguration.”

I glowered at him. “I wasn’t even born yet for the first one, and I’m a Democrat.”

Riley snickered before shoveling more food in his mouth.

“I’ll go with you, Dad,” Tim offered. “I can’t let you embarrass the family.”

“Oh, by all means,” I agreed with sarcasm. “Maybe you can find me a thong. Perhaps a bright pink one with a crystal-encrusted crack-strap. Then you can leave the event with your head held high.”

Tim grimaced. “That would be impossible. I’d never find my way out of the building after gouging my eyes out.”

Riley smacked Tim’s arm and turned to me. “I was joking about wearing a jock. But if it were that type of event, I’m sure the people in the audience would enjoy seeing you in something revealing.”

Tim was about to speak then snapped his mouth shut as if remembering something. He looked at Riley with a naughty grin.

Riley’s face reddened as Tim resumed eating. I sympathized. The poor guy had just been trying to encourage me and now he would put up with my son’s taunting. I decided to move them off the subject. “Okay, Tim, you can come with me. But I get veto power.”

My son rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Captain Obvious. You have the credit card.”