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Alexandra Y. Caluen

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.

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Books By Alexandra Y. Caluen

Word Count: 18,500

Character Identities: Gay, Non Binary

Summary: Darius Adams is at the pharmacy for his fall vaccines when he meets Rafael Balam. He’s instantly attracted to the cute, nonbinary costume designer. Over drinks at a nearby café, they discover a lot of things in common, from recently losing parents and moving house to people Rafael knows at Darius’ new teaching job. It doesn’t take long to decide they want to see a lot more of each other. Neither was on the hunt for a new relationship, but when it seems a good one has opened up in front of them, they walk right in. During the next few months, Darius and Rafael learn how to be boyfriends, then lovers. Then they open up the living-together conversation. At midlife, are they too set in their ways, or do they love each other enough to make it work?

NEW
It's in the Heel - Alexandra Caluen
It's In The HeelPairings: M-NB
Published:

Word Count: Information not available

Character Identities: Information not available

Summary: 2024 Top Ten Gay Romance brings together the best-selling short stories published by JMS Books that year. From first love to true love, from submission to sensual, from heat to sweet and everything in between, the couples in these stories are sure to keep you turning the pages as you fall in love with them. With stories by Alexandra Caluen, Holly Day, Nell Iris, Shawn Lane, K.L. Noone, Mere Rain, Ellie Thomas, Alexander Verlangen, Alex Winters, and Patrick Bryce Wright, this head-over-heels collection goes beyond bedtime reading. Whether happily ever after or happy for now, there’s an ending for everyone in here! Contains the stories: Empty Shelves, Full Hearts by Alexandra CaluenThe Snaccident by Holly DaySnowstorm Confessions by Nell IrisGlad Tidings by Shawn LaneMidwinter Music by K.L. NooneThree Wishes and a Miracle by Mere RainThe Way Home by Ellie ThomasRoses, Romps, and Romance by Alexander VerlangenThe Do Over by Alex Winters, and A New Season of Intimacy by Patrick Bryce Wright.

2024 Top Ten Gay Romance - J.M. Snyder
2024 Top Ten Gay Romance
Published:

Word Count: 16700

Character Identities: Gay, Intersex

Summary: Benny Schneider has lived in Las Vegas for a lot of years, working in medical billing for the past fifteen. In February 2021, he runs into new friend Dorian Weathers at the supermarket and they start a conversation that goes in some unexpected directions. Dori’s seen a lot during his years of working as a hospital orderly, but hit the wall after eight months of coping with a pandemic. Now staying with a longtime friend, he’s been offered a free apartment in Los Angeles and help with tuition to level up his career. When Benny offers a room in his own house instead, Dori gets a vision of what might be possible. By the end of that first conversation, it’s clear they’ll be housemates with benefits. Over the months that follow, they grow closer. Benny’s twenty years older and he’s been through a change that even most of his friends don’t know about. Before long, Dori wants everything Benny is, was, and ever will be. With the support of their friends and the freedom of drag, they’re determined to embrace a new change. Can they carry it into the future along with everything else they are?

We Shall Be Changed - A.Y. Caluen
We Shall Be ChangedPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: Information not available

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A later-in-life M/M holiday romance short story. As he waits in the bar of a San Francisco restaurant for the rest of his work group to arrive, ex-Navy JAG counsel Ren Itano sees someone arrive. At the end of the evening, Ren gives ex-Navy Legalman Jimmy Rubio a ride home. Jimmy invites Ren in for a cup of tea. After a night together, they begin a conversation about meeting again. By Christmas day, both men suspect they're on the brink of being boyfriends. Can a chance meeting lead to the gift of a future together? Adult situations, themes, and language.

View from the Bridge - A.Y. Caluen
View From The BridgePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 7500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: With one month to go before the neighborhood bookshop closes, temporary manager Evan is mostly concerned with balancing the needs of owner and customers. He’s delighted to meet novelist Simon, who drops in after finishing a book tour. They instantly connect. As Christmas approaches, Evan and Simon become friends, then lovers. They meet friends and family, beginning to think about a possible future together. New Year’s Eve is the bookshop’s last day. Will the next day be the start of that future?

Empty Shelves, Full Hearts - Alexandra Cohen
Empty Shelves, Full HeartsPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 11200

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: At going-on-fifty, patent filing specialist Santo is the recently divorced single dad to a sixteen-year-old with Broadway ambitions. He’s thrilled to learn his new co-worker Martin is close to his age, also gay, and also a single dad. At the very least, they might turn into good work friends. Before many weeks pass, Santo and Martin are much more than work friends. Their teenagers, who go to the same high school, quickly bond. Having school and workplace in common takes a lot of the juggling out of trying to date in Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Santo’s support helps Martin cope as an adoptive father to a niece still grieving her parents. He’s creating a new version of himself for this role. Will his turbulent entry into parenthood open a door to a future full of love?

Reinvented - Alexandra Caluen
ReinventedPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 25,300

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay

Summary: Nick, Charlie, and Stephen, sons of an earl, a baronet, and a freshly knighted barrister, met at school and became fast friends. The young noblemen went on to university while Stephen read law in London. All three exchange letters and visits, even spending holidays together for the next thirteen years. Their terms of intimacy, while close, have been undefined: Nick and Charlie have a separate relationship, Charlie and Stephen another. In November 1819, Nick invites his two friends for three weeks at his country lodge. He worries that their bonds may be sundered by circumstance: he is to be married. While this was always inevitable, they must all now face up to the changes it will bring. Mere days into their country retreat, all three have confirmed their desire for more, not less, intimacy. Ideas are exchanged, affections shared, wishes expressed. Their days together strengthen the mortar of their new connection, giving it time to set. Along the way, they indulge in every kind of intimacy, safe in the privacy of the hunting box. Will their plans and promises hold once they must part?

The Hunting Box - Alexandra Caluen
The Hunting BoxPairings: M-M-M
Published:

Word Count: 74,600

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: John Hancock Darrow left his North Carolina hometown after college. The only reason he’s there twenty-eight years later is to deal with estate business when his mother and sister are killed in an automobile crash. The realtor he chooses to list his mother’s B&B can’t make that hurt less, but he can help John forget it for a while. Small-town, self-employed, multiple job holding Daniel Washburn doesn’t expect more than after-dinner sex with the big-city lawyer. When the man turns up at the local ballroom studio a few days later, Daniel’s happy to dance with him. When they start working out an unusual deal for the B&B, they begin to feel like friends. Then during one of their many phone calls, John asks if he can take Daniel to dinner. John and Daniel keep finding reasons to stay in touch. Then to be lovers. Then to get married. It’s a convenience, John says. Daniel knows it’s more. But John’s ten years older, successful, the kind of man who owns a million-dollar New York City condo and can afford to give away a house. If he wants Daniel on any terms, he surely has his reasons. Daniel’s willing to wait for the right moment to put that convenience nonsense to rest. Because he’s got his own reasons, and the truth will set them free.

Liberty - Alexandra Caluen
LibertyPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 35,900

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Neither 18-year-old Troy Nakamura nor 22-year-old Laszlo Jovanovic expect anything after their one-night stand. Troy is bound for college and Laszlo is heading to graduate school on the other side of the continent. They don’t see each other again for five years, when Troy’s former competition dance partner invites him to her wedding, where he can’t resist another encounter with Laszlo. Then he says more than he should. While Laszlo lets him down easy, the fact is Troy’s still in law school and the other man’s work is taking him to Europe. Their first parting wasn’t easy, but this one really hurts. As Laszlo winds up his final European contract seven years later, a traumatic incident disrupts his intention to stay with his parents for a while. Troy, now living near their families again, offers house room while Laszlo sorts himself out. Both of them had always thought What If. With privacy, peace, and the opportunity to learn just how they’ve both changed since that first momentous night, is the time finally right for love?

Third Time Lucky - Alexandra Caluen
Third Time LuckyPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 19130

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Ivan Reznik’s been part of the drag act at the Pink Pussycat Lounge for five years when Jaime Rivera joins the cast. They both worked as extras for a scene in an action comedy filming in Las Vegas; between the daily tests and the thrill of making a movie, a round of hookups was inevitable. Now 2020’s almost over, and Ivan can’t help wishing his new year might include more of Jaime. But first he has to tell the truth about something big. Jaime’s whole life changed with the lockdown. His roommate situation fell apart; his job went away; he had to move home with his parents in Phoenix; and his life of carefree casual sex seems to be over. He’s barely begun to think about what might be possible when he wakes up on Ivan’s couch to face a day full of upsetting truths. Ivan and Jaime decide to find out if the truth opened the door for a new way to look at the future. Could that be the holiday gift they both wanted most?

Fishnets & Tinsel - Alexandra Caluen
Fishnets & TinselPairings: M-M
Published:
Genres:

Word Count: 70,000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: When set medic Koa Sanders meets actor/stuntman Loren McCall, sparks fly. Loren himself just went flying—and got knocked out—in a dangerous collision stunt, setting off all Koa’s protective instincts. At the end of the day, when Loren suggests he wouldn’t mind having someone at home for post-head-injury monitoring, Koa tells himself it’s only to make sure the actor is okay. By the time he leaves the next morning, they’ve tested the question very thoroughly…and they want to see each other again. Loren is already thinking about drawing the line under stunt work. When his agent sends word of a potentially career-changing audition, he decides this is the time to take the leap. He’s facing a huge loss in the coming months. Getting a big part will complicate matters in a big way. But Koa’s right there, telling Loren he’ll help. Neither man was looking for a boyfriend; neither is willing to dismiss their instant connection. Loren isn’t used to needing help; Koa isn’t used to someone wanting it. And if they get through the year’s challenges together, their lives will change forever.

Drama Queen - Alexandra Caluen
Drama QueenPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 36,000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: *2024 Runner-Up : New England Romance Writers Reader's Choice Award - romance novella* Jeweler Lachlan Beattie does the Renaissance Frolicke event each year; it’s the only time he sees costume designer Taran Kimura. Their vendor stalls have been on opposite sides of the site. Then the year’s event package arrives with a new map: now they’ll be side by side. Taran sees the new map and considers sending a thank-you note to the management. Finally, no barriers to striking up a conversation with the sexy Scot. They’ve been eyeing each other for years. Taran’s almost fifty; it’s past time to step outside his comfort zone. Lachlan makes the first move; Taran makes the second. Once they start talking, they never want to stop. They have six weekends to see how far their connection could go. By the end of the second, they both know they want forever. What could possibly go wrong?

Our Revels Now - Alexandra Caluen
Our Revels NowPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 15900

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay

Summary: In college, Paxton Barrilla and Mars Hudson built a strong foundation for lifelong friendship. Then their careers took them to opposite sides of the country. When they walked into a recording studio in Las Vegas, Pax as producer and Mars as clarinet player, they hadn’t seen each other for almost twenty years. At first, Pax’s plans were simply to make the best jazz record he possibly could. Mars? He wanted that too. But he wanted more: a chance to see if long-ago friendship and a gift for working together might add up to more. The overture was a surprise, but Pax was interested. After three weeks of the kinds of conversations they’d never had with anyone else, are they ready to see if they’ve struck the right chord?

In Tune - Alexandra Caluen
In TunePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 75,000

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay

Summary: *2024 WINNER - New England Romance Writers Reader's Choice Award - Short contemporary romance novel* A between-jobs vacation was all Angelo expected from Buenos Aires; when it turned into a holiday fling, he wasn’t about to say No. Ramon’s impulsive trip to Argentina started off as a disaster. The cute dance teacher offering a room share? An early Christmas present. The night dancing tango? A revelation. The next week turned into a series of great dates, the kind that would take months to set up in real life. By day two, they were both wishing they’d met long ago, in California, where they both grew up. Ramon’s heading back there; Angie’s bound for North Carolina. How could they possibly make it work? Could they try? Angie leaves Argentina with a head full of plans and wishes, but no regrets. Ramon goes home with a plan of his own, determined to turn some wishes into reality. A New Year’s Eve party was always going to be a challenging introduction to his new job. Left on their own by two key staffers, Angie and his junior instructors manage to pull it off. The next morning, he’s expecting a hard day of damage control. Instead he finds Ramon on his doorstep. One way or another, they’ll dance into the future together.

Mistletango - Alexandra Caluen
MistletangoPairings: M-M
Published:
Genres:

Word Count: 34000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A M/M holiday romance novella about finding your way home. Rhett Carpenter’s early fame ended with a crash. Sixteen years later, he’s working steadily: writing, producing, narrating, even acting. He’s made a decent life for himself. The trouble is, he never wanted a life that was only for himself, and he’s not sure he wants this one anymore. Gabriel Aguilar didn’t know who Rhett was when they met on the train, but it didn’t take long to find out. They noticed each other around the neighborhood, as well as on the Metro. Months later, when Gabriel’s apartment burned down, Rhett offered the vacant studio behind his house. They weren’t close, but they were friends. So when Rhett needed someone to reach out, Gabriel did. And before long, they were much more than friends. Adult situations, themes, and language; 34000 words and a happy ending. Content alert for depression.

My Holiday Star - Alexandra Caluen
My Holiday StarPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 32,500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A midlife M/M romance novella about equality. Casimir has a good life: a nice little house, a hard-to-get job, and an online store for his Shakespeare-inspired paintings. The only thing he’s missing is someone to come home to. Then ballet teacher Misha rings his doorbell. Misha risked everything on America twenty years ago, and so far the risk has paid off. The only thing he’s missing is someone to share his future. Then he drops in at the online store’s showroom and meets the painter. Casimir let his job cost him one important relationship already. Within a day of meeting Misha, he’s willing to take the biggest risk of his professional life. And Misha’s willing to stand at his side, no matter what happens. Adult situation, themes, and language; 32,500 words and a happy ending.

Screw Your Courage - Alexandra Caluen
Screw Your CouragePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 77300

Character Identities: Bisexual, Questioning, Polyamorous

Summary: A F/F/M romance novel about having it all. Vicky and Sharon had a great place to live, jobs they liked, excellent neighbors and landlords, and a four-year-old daughter they loved. Ten years after they went from best friends to lovers, they were married and prospering, starting to talk about the one thing they were missing. What came next? Marco Hidalgo was still trying to decide how to tell his wife his show was cancelled when he got home and found the note. Four years after they went from co-workers to married, it was over. It didn’t seem to matter what came next, so he reached out to the one person who was always on his side. When newly-single Marco turned up on Vicky’s movie set, she called Sharon to ask What If. Sharon said Why Not, and Marco said it might be revenge. Vicky said if it wasn’t at least a little bit revenge, she’d be concerned. So they tried it, and it worked, and now all three of them had to figure out what came next. Adult situations, themes, and language; 77300 words and a happy ending.

Undertow - A.Y. Caluen
UndertowPairings: F-F, F-F-M, M-F, M-M
Published:

Word Count: 55,700

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Pansexual, Polyamorous, Straight

Summary: A romantically queer Edwardian novel in three acts. Six unconventional people find their unconventionally-perfect matches in a community of adventurers and academics. An American heiress travels to England in 1905, soon to meet an aristocratic lady adventurer who becomes the friend and partner of a lifetime … An Oxford solicitor finds himself possessed of a modest estate, yet has no one with whom to share it. Seeking a lady of intelligence, he finds his perfect match … A gemstone magnate from Ceylon forms a connection with the Spanish secretary to an English duchess. The time may be right for their love; the place is not. But in the south of France they can live together in the sun … A sweet, low-angst, ensemble frolic. Adult situations, themes, and language, with three happy endings.

Sextette - A.Y. Caluen
SextettePairings: F-F, M-F, M-M
Published:

Word Count: 30,500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: An age-gap M/M romance novella about making beautiful music during lockdown. When all three of his roommates moved out, Davy Sun’s living situation was a mess. Then friends of a friend offered their pool house for the duration, and it was an offer too good to refuse. The last thing Davy expected while he was living in some random rich person’s backyard was to meet the man of his dreams. But it turned out the rich guy was friendly with guitarist Barry Teller, who came over to give an open-air lesson. The lesson turned into a picnic dinner, and then some playing and singing on the patio. Turned out Barry really liked Davy’s voice … and he wanted to hear it from up close. Content alert: this story is set in the real world of 2020. Adult situations, themes, and language, with a happy ending.

Come To Me - Alexandra Caluen
Come to MePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 63,000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A hurt/comfort M/M romance novel about truth and consequences. Valentine Gale knew he was difficult. Too many years of not only hiding his emotions, but refusing to admit he had them. He thought his future would look a lot like his present. Then he met the new science teacher Christopher Parsons. Kit had been trying to find a moment to talk to the language-arts teacher for months. When the guy started that conversation at the academy’s year-end party, Kit was delighted. It turned out they had a lot in common. Including the way they liked to kiss. A few months later, Val and Kit were still tiptoeing around the truth of what they’d become to each other. Then Kit disappeared from a donor event, and suddenly Val couldn’t hide from it anymore. Content alert: this novel deals with recovery from sexual assault.

Be Mine - Alexandra Caluen
Be MinePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 89300

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A slice-of-life M/M Hollywood romance novel about growing into yourself. Victor Garcia and Andy Martin had known each other for eight years. Been in love for seven and a half. Been together – really together – for six, and married for two. So many milestones, so much change. Victor looked at his life sometimes and thought, this can’t be for real. Going into 2020, they had a full year of work scheduled. Then life got weird, and for a minute it seemed a lot of things wouldn’t happen. It took some ingenuity and a ton of paperwork to make sure all those projects didn’t evaporate. It also took stepping up. Victor knew those two movies could be salvaged with a few changes, so he sent in spec rewrites. Not much later, they were in Europe for career-changing roles. Andy was thrilled, not just because both movies were going to be better this way, but because he loved Victor’s new confidence. Every time the guy tried something new and it worked, he opened up a little more. Andy had to match that, because it was only fair. Even when the things that spilled out hurt.

Unmasked - Alexandra Caluen
UnmaskedPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 72,000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A later-in-life M/M love story about commitment and equality. Patrick Sarkisian could have been on another ridiculous date on that particular Saturday. Instead he was cheering for his niece at her first adult ballroom competition. Being the Good Uncle, not expecting the evening to be memorable in any way. Then he noticed one of the professional dancers, and things got interesting. Dmitri Vasko expected to spend the long evening as usual: round after round, out on the floor with his students. Then he heard someone yelling his number, saw the person responsible, and all at once wondered if this was the change he’d almost stopped hoping for. Their courtship was just long enough to determine that they really did want the same thing: each other. Then they had to figure out how to work around two established careers. How to be together, and how to stay together. Their partnership was built around change. One thing never changed: commitment to making it work. REVISED & EXPANDED EDITION including material previously published as 'Change Partners.'

One Enchanted Evening - A.Y. Caluen
One Enchanted EveningPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 11,000

Character Identities: Bisexual, Transgender

Summary: A trans/bi holiday romance novelette. After forty years of living in the wrong body, Patrice Diaz was finally reborn. She had two weeks in Las Vegas to try new ways of enjoying her new life. The nice-looking guy at the bar seemed like a good place to start, but she had to tell him the truth. Noel Arkady was at the point of ‘if you want something to change, you have to do something different.’ The pretty woman at the bar might have been only a pleasant dinner companion. Then she told him the truth. They had two weeks together before Patrice had to go back to Mexico for her TV shoot, and a lot of baggage to unpack. When they got to the bottom of everything, would they find what they needed to try moving on together? Adult situations, themes, and language; 11,000 words and a happy ending. Plus bonus short story!

Star of Wonder - A.Y. Caluen
Star of WonderPairings: 4+ or Other
Published:

Word Count: 80300

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A slow-burn, age-gap M/M romance novel about reaching for a dream … and finding the person who’ll give you a boost. When a porn director dropped her card in Manny’s guitar case, he was mildly flattered. But he was busy with all his other jobs, and a card wasn’t money, so he forgot about it. When her partner showed up to say they were interested in putting Manny in front of the camera, he started thinking about it again. Irv thought the spinning trainer was interested. But after a couple weeks without contact, busy with other projects, he forgot about it. Then, weeks later, Manny called to ask if they could talk. He wanted to be a legit actor. Irv said he could learn some skills, if he paid attention and took it all seriously. It turned out that Manny was very good at paying attention. He took everything seriously, and he learned fast. Pitching him to a casting agent was basically the same as waving goodbye; if the guy got enough legit work, he’d walk away from porn, and from Irv. A year later, Manny was heading to Mexico to shoot a new historical series. Before he left, he was determined to see if the vibe between him and Irv added up to anything. If it did, Manny wasn’t about to walk away.

Into You - A.Y. Caluen
Into YouPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 34000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A M/M romance novella about finding the future you want. Once upon a time, Ashley Wong pledged the same fraternity as Justin Landau. They weren’t friends. The last time Ash saw Justin was the first time he realized the other guy was gay, too. Fast-forward to 2018: Ash is back in L.A. after nearly a decade away. Starting over with everything, except his job; that’s only a new location. Which happens to be in the same building as the law firm where Justin works. They still aren’t friends. But Ash belongs to an online chat group, and he’s friends with someone there. They both use aliases. At Christmas, they open up enough to discover they’re both in L.A., and they decide to meet. Justin has a moment of OMG No when he sees Ashley at the rendezvous. Things happened back in college. Those things weren’t Justin’s fault, but he didn’t exactly help, either. Should he walk away? Or should he trust that one kind of friendship could become another? Adult situations, themes, and language; 34000 words and a happy ending.

Hush - A.Y. Caluen
HushPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 73500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Forrest Kim was a young, successful, single lawyer; he was adept at fielding the usual kind of pass. The text from venture capitalist Julian Sherwood was not that kind of pass. It was, however, irresistible. Get picked up by a billionaire: was that a bucket-list item? Whatever it was – even if all it amounted to was dinner – Forrest was up for it. By the end of dinner, he was up for a lot more. It wasn’t going anywhere. It couldn’t possibly go anywhere. Forrest lived in Los Angeles, and ‘successful’ meant ‘third-year associate carrying five figures of student-loan debt.’ Julian lived in London, plus there was the billionaire thing. But Julian kept coming back to L.A., and every time he did they saw each other. Until they didn’t, and then they had to decide. Were they going to take this somewhere after all, or was this really the end?

Public Offering - Alexandra Caluen
Public OfferingPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 32600

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: An age-gap, cross-culture M/M romance novella. Reggie Galant was a successful businessman: he ran a gay porn site called At Your Service, and it served him very well indeed. It supported his vocation as a painter, it bought his flat in London, and for a long time that was enough. Ro Gallo wasn’t getting anywhere in L.A. It was his home city, but it didn’t feel like home: nothing there was his. One of his jobs paid the rent, the other one paid for his health insurance, and between them there was just enough left over to live. They met by what might have been chance, at a party hosted by a mutual acquaintance. Two days later, Reggie asked Ro to visit him in London. Ro said he would. They’d never been on a date, never touched beyond a handshake, never kissed. Maybe both of them were crazy. On the other hand, maybe neither of them were.

Triple X - A.Y. Caluen
Triple XPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 27000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A neighbors-to-lovers M/M romance novella. For nine years, bookshop owner Dominic has been getting his coffee across the street. For nine years, café owner Louie has been wondering if he’ll ever risk making a move. Then weeks go by with no Dominic. Is it a sign of trouble for the bookshop (and the neighborhood), or only for the man himself? Louie doesn’t quite dare ask the booksellers; he and Dominic haven’t been that kind of friends. The relief when Dominic comes back is overpowering. So much so that Louie finally makes his move. Dominic expected the story of his life to pick up where it left off. He didn’t expect the next chapter to include Louie. But from a touch to a kiss to a best-ever date, their story unfolds with a new surprise on every page. A new thrill, and a new chance. Adult situations, themes, and language; 27000 words and a happy ending.

Proofed - A.Y. Caluen
ProofedPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: Information not available

Character Identities: Bisexual, Questioning, Straight

Summary: A F/F bi-awakening romance novella. Vicky Russo and Sharon Weiss are co-workers and best friends. When Vicky finally shows her freeloading boyfriend the door, she and Sharon start spending even more time together. Sharon tags along when Vicky starts hanging out with Vince, because he’s entertaining and she likes to watch them dance. They both date other people, with varying degrees of non-success. But they keep coming back to “it’s more fun to be with you.” And at a certain point, there’s really no reason to be with anyone else. Adult situations, themes, and language; 24000 words and a happy ending.

Getting Off - A.Y. Caluen
Getting OffPairings: F-F, M-F
Published:

Word Count: 71000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Dr. Liam Byrne had nothing to complain of. He was tall, he had good hair, his business was going great. But all the moves that went into building his career meant leaving people behind. At forty-two, what he needed was someone to share his life. He was starting to wonder if he’d missed his chance. Mark Valance made the move from stage to television, was in year three of a recurring role, and knew he was living the dream … but it felt like a nightmare. At thirty-eight, he couldn’t breathe anymore. He had to kick the closet door open, before he lost his nerve. When Liam and Mark met at their friends’ first Thanksgiving party, they had a moment. Neither of them was quite sure what it meant. They decided to meet again, to see if they could figure it out. Their next meeting lasted two days. They were both tired of going it alone, and something felt right. Right enough to do whatever it took to figure out a future together.

Giving It Up - A.Y. Caluen
Giving It UpPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 31500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Paul Rosenberg never stayed up for New Year’s Eve anymore, so it was the morning of January 1, 2000 when he sat down with a cup of coffee and told himself it was time to start living again. He’d lived in this house for three years now, in Los Angeles for just over seven. Making new friends, building a new business, taking his history of success in New York and turning it into even bigger success here. Coming home alone every night of every week of every month of every year, because no matter how many attractive men he met in the West, none compared to Mark, the man he’d loved and lost before. Then he ran into a man who looked so much like Mark that Paul almost couldn’t believe it. Jan de Witt, an aspiring jeweler: well-educated, well-mannered, and much too young. Once he got over the shock, Paul couldn’t stop thinking about how he could help de Witt launch his career. He really tried not to think about anything else. Once he agreed to Paul’s proposition, Jan put his whole heart and soul, and a lot of work, into launching the business. And he didn’t care about the age difference. He hoped the business partnership would lead to more. Maybe to everything.

Sugar Daddy - A.Y. Caluen
Sugar DaddyPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 23,000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Paul Xiao considered himself lucky. He'd lost his husband after a grueling battle with cancer, but they'd had twenty-two years together. After six months, he started to live his life again, the parts of it he'd lost touch with during that five-year battle, the parts he could carry on with alone. Then he went to a fine-art miniatures show and met the painter Kevin Park. Before he knew what he was doing, Paul had invited Kevin to join him and his friend Patrick for dinner. And Kevin, who'd been so strongly attracted to Paul that he'd held those two paintings, hoping he would come back around and they could talk, said he would. Three months of cautious dates later, Paul asked Kevin for help with his home yoga practice. It was logical; that was Kevin's profession. But he was hoping that opening the door to his home would mean opening other doors too. After a lifetime of compromised relationships, Kevin was almost afraid to hope. There was just so much between them that was right. If they could find the right balance and breathe into this, maybe they'd both find space in their lives for love.

Breathing Space - A.Y. Caluen
Breathing SpacePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 70200

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Bob Anderson knew it was not quite normal to be relieved that the woman he’d proposed to turned him down. He thought he was ready; he was thirty-six, it was time to choose a partner and take the next step. He wanted her as much as he’d ever wanted a woman. It was not quite normal to be sitting in a bar asking himself whether he’d ever wanted a woman at all. Jade Derecha wasn’t out to pick anyone up. He wasn’t out to meet anybody. He only went to sit with the guy in the suit because he looked so tragic. And then the guy put that ring box on the table without a word, as if it had a story to tell. Jade opened the box; thought wistfully about how good that ring would look on his own graceful hand; and put it on. By the end of the night, Bob was calling himself Robert, because he wasn’t the person who’d always been called Bob. Only one other thing in his life had changed. That one thing changed everything else. Because he woke up beside Jade and realized there was so much more to want.

A Little Turn - A.Y. Caluen
A Little TurnPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 70200

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: When Freddie Chandra went through the casino kitchen to see what was causing the commotion, he expected to find the usual: a cluster of vehicles in the alley, all refusing to give way. What he found instead was six people yelling at each other over a seventh, a thin dark man who made not a sound. Edmund Robert was mostly thinking well I’m buggered because he had no papers to display, no one was speaking in English, and the sign language he’d relied on for years wasn’t getting him anywhere. Then the most beautiful man in the world walked out of the kitchen, shut the rest of them up, and went to look at Edmund’s makeshift shelter. When he returned to the now-silent group, he said, “Bower bird.” Edmund looked up, startled, thinking how did you know? In short order, Edmund was David Marlowe. Along with the new name, he had a proper job, and the safest place in the world to live. Not long after that, he also had Freddie. But the man at the top was going to Los Angeles to make a movie, and Freddie – the interpreter, the man who could speak to anyone – was going with him. Leaving David – the man who couldn’t speak at all – alone on the private island. Safe, working, surrounded by friends, but more alone than ever. They were both such beginners at love. They’d barely learned how to be together. How on earth could they survive being apart?

Awake & Dreaming - A.Y. Caluen
Awake and DreamingPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 29800

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Xi Duarte was still getting acquainted with the patients at Therapy Shop when Harry Sterling came through the door. All Xi could do for Harry that night was help the massage therapist. It was a surprise to realize he wished he could do more. Harry wasn’t Xi’s type, but something about him was hard to forget. The latest episode of acute back pain was one too many: Harry couldn’t take it anymore. Coming that close to breaking down, in front of that incredible-looking guy at Therapy Shop, tipped him over from resigned to angry. Two years of medical consultations got him nowhere. It was time to try a shrink. Six months later, Xi saw Harry again, outside the coffee shop. It was the perfect opportunity to get to know each other … and they were thorough. Now they needed to know if this was simply a spring affair, or if it was the connection they’d both been wishing for.

Make Me - A.Y. Caluen
Make MePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 67000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A second-chance M/M romance novel about trust, truth, and recovery. When Richard picked up Willem at the dance studio, it was supposed to be a one-night stand. After six dates, he knew it was more. But it was too late, because Willem was leaving for the cruise-ship job. Their sixth date ended in a way that seemed final, though neither of them got over it. When Willem wrapped up the cruise gig, he decided to change his focus and start building a life he could share with someone. Maybe even with Richard. When Willem ran into Richard at a nightclub, inviting him to a wedding was an impulse. By the end of that date, they both knew they wanted to try again. This time they'd take it slow. They'd tell more of the truth. They'd dance together, using that common language to say things they were still afraid to say. After all that, maybe they'd be ready to take each other on forever. Adult situations, themes, and language; 67,000 words and a happy ending. REVISED EDITION. Content alerts: alcoholism, anorexia. After all that, maybe they'd be ready to take each other on forever.

Take Everything - A.Y. Caluen
Take EverythingPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 29900

Character Identities: Bisexual

Summary: Max Davies had come to Los Angeles from Christchurch for reasons, not by choice. She was making the best of it: working part-time in a tux shop for a bit of air, narrating audiobooks on occasion to keep her sense of herself as an actor alive, and doing her best for her mother. An outing to Cicada with her boss, his husband, and their friend seemed a well-deserved break in her routine. Then, “Max Dartmoor. It’s you, isn’t it?” The person asking knew her alter ego, from the audiobooks, from her voice. The person asking was Anton Tsvirko, a project manager. The person asking was irresistible. One transgressive encounter and several soul-baring emails later, Anton and Max met again. They agreed that this was significant. They agreed that it was unique. They agreed that a failure to pursue this connection would be an insult to whatever forces led them both to the upstairs bar on that night. Words brought them together. Whether there was anything more to be said remained to be discovered.

No More Words - A.Y. Caluen
No More WordsPairings: M-F
Published:
Genres:

Word Count: 90500

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: From supporting role in a TV cop show to above-the-title co-star in a blockbuster movie franchise was crazy. Actually being married to the love of his life: Victor Garcia didn’t have words for that. He hadn’t found words for the other thing, either. Four months after being shot, he still wasn’t talking about it. The trauma counselor tried, their friends tried, and his husband Andy Martin certainly tried. But they had so much going on. For Victor, it was easier to celebrate life than to look back at almost losing it. Andy wasn’t the man who would say ‘no, we need to talk’ when the love of his life wanted something else. The tango tour was scandalously fun. Then they got home, and he went to visit his parents, and the bottom dropped out of his world. He and Victor had already been through a lot together. They both thought, if we could take that, we can take anything. But when he needed Victor most, things went sideways. What if this was simply too much? What if suddenly, at the worst possible time, they’d gone from ‘can’t get enough’ to ‘had enough?’ Neither of them could accept that. So they dug down, and opened up. Because on the other side of this was the rest of their love affair.

Never Enough - Alexandra Caluen
Never EnoughPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 25200

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: Sergei Kotov had lived in Las Vegas for ten years. He had a great job as a trainer for one of the massively-popular showgirl extravaganzas on the Strip. He had a house with a pool, a paid-off car, several good friends, a cat named Gypsy, and many friendly acquaintances. At fifty-three, he was content. His life was full, he had more than most people, and if it wasn’t everything he wanted, it was enough. Then a friend from his past sent a text saying ‘go see Gino Corsetti,’ and because Andy Martin had never wasted Sergei’s time, he did. And suddenly he was no longer content. Gino Corsetti had nothing to complain of. At forty-seven, he had the sort of long-term performance contract that most singers could only dream of. After a quarter of a century on the road, he was finally ready to call someplace ‘home.’ If only he knew what that meant. Then a guy who’d been a ‘maybe’ called him to say someone was coming to see his show on the Strip. Gave Gino a little history, enough to think he should take a real look at the man. A man who was an appropriate age, who understood the performance life, and who was settled. A man who’d made a home for himself, here in Vegas. There’d been a lot of ‘maybe’ and ‘not quite’ in Gino’s life. A lot of ‘almost’ and ‘not now’ in Sergei’s. The idea that they might be right for each other seemed like more than a gamble: it seemed like an impossible dream. But what if it were true?

Here to Stay - A.Y. Caluen
Here To StayPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 92200

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay, Polyamorous, Straight

Summary: Janis and Niall were best friends almost from their first day working together on tour. Over the years, that friendship grew stronger. Her troubled long-distance relationship and his slow recovery from losing the love of his life gave them more points of connection, not fewer. And almost three years in, they had to face it: they were in love. There was only one problem. Janis was straight, and Niall wasn’t. They didn’t know what to do. As a woman and a man, certain combinations were, technically, possible. But there are some things you don’t ask even your best friend to do. If a day arrived when one of them found a person to meet that unmet need, what would happen to them? And then they met Geoffrey. A man who enjoyed women and men. A man they both found attractive and charming; a man attracted in turn to each of them; a man whose particular circumstances made the experiment possible. Now the question was, would their unique combination be the catalyst for a new, indissoluble element … or would it blow up in all their faces?

A Braid of Love - Alexandra Caluen
A Braid of LovePairings: M-M-F
Published:

Word Count: 29200

Character Identities: Bisexual, Gay, Polyamorous, Straight

Summary: A romance novella about what happens when meeting everyone's needs requires unconventional thinking. Janis Vaughn was doing all right with her music career. She was still young enough that spending most of her time teaching, and playing on other people’s records, didn’t look like ‘gave up’ or ‘couldn’t make it.’ What she really couldn’t make was ‘up her mind.’ Then her friend Victor asked a favor. It was something easy to do, that she was happy to do. But the reason he needed it made her take another hard look at her life. It was one thing to hold back when reaching out could literally cost you your career. It was quite another thing to hold back when the worst that could happen was ‘well, I tried.’ So she tried. The first album was a modest success, leading to a local tour. Janis was loving every minute of it. And when she met Stefan – another musician, another teacher, a guy the right age who was smart and sexy and understood what she needed (at least at the piano) – she thought she had it made. But it wasn't all good, and it got less so over time. When they were together, things were fine. There simply wasn't enough 'together.' If it hadn’t been for her tour manager (and instant BFF) Niall, Janis would have been all alone for most of the year. Fortunately, they liked everything about each other. He was the man of her dreams, except for one thing: she was straight, and he wasn't. They each needed something the other couldn't provide, because there are some things you don't ask even your best friend to do. And then they met Geoffrey, a man who might be their missing link. Janis and Niall had to decide: what if the worst that could happen was ‘well, we tried?’

A Secret Chord - Alexandra Caluen
A Secret ChordPairings: M-F, M-M-F
Published:
Genres:

Word Count: 92600

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: It takes a village to make a movie. Andy Martin started the ball rolling with a photo shoot starring a long-lost Argentinean friend-of-a-friend and a few other tangueros. Writer/director Tanith Salazar, invited to sit in, was still scribbling notes after everyone else had left. Before too long she was writing a treatment, which eventually became a screenplay about the great tango composer and singer Carlos Gardel. A vehicle for Andy’s husband Victor Garcia, with a lot of music, a lot of dancing, and generally a lot of potential to be a total flop. They did it anyway: made the movie they wanted to make, with a cast of old and new friends. Andy and Victor were as much in love as ever, but their work on a TV cop show (and the never-ending controversy about their characters) was getting to them. Along the way to premiere night, their community – and their relationship - went through some changes. It would take every one of their friends to pull them through.

The Ghost of Carlos Gardel - Alexandra Caluen
The Ghost of Carlos GardelPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 22,600

Character Identities: Genderfluid, Lesbian, Non Binary

Summary: An F/F-with-a-twist romance novella about seeing past the surface. Yoshi Ito was an expert at making people see what he wanted them to see. What most people never realized was that his private life was as much of a special effect as the lighting and projections he designed for the theatre. Lesley Hayes had her own skills at creating imagery; a successful freelance costume designer, she could turn a sweet-natured guy into a villain or a beautiful dancer into a bog monster. She was trying not to look too hard at Yoshi, because she didn't date men. But Yoshi had a secret: he was not what he seemed. When Lesley discovered the truth, would she be glad? Or would Yoshi have to say goodbye to the woman he'd come to love?

Illusion - A.Y. Caluen
IllusionPairings: F-NB
Published:

Word Count: 29000

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A M/M romance novella about trust. Ricky Castillo was building a new life since getting out of a long-term abusive relationship. After a year of healing, he couldn't help noticing that the cruise ship's good-looking sommelier had noticed him too. Luis Ramirez was in the middle of a long-term career plan, one that didn't make any kind of relationship easy. But he'd had an eye on Ricky ever since he'd seen those performance videos. He couldn't believe his luck when it turned out Ricky and his partner Anya would be the dance team for the Valentines singles cruise. Ricky's history had left him with a lot of baggage; it was a struggle for him to adapt to some of Luis' own coping mechanisms. Forty years of conditional love - or no love at all - hadn't prepared Ricky for the complete acceptance he found with Luis. Bit by bit they worked through their issues. Little by little Ricky was able to come to grips, and come to peace, with his past. Then the only question was: who would be brave enough to dive in first? Adult situations, themes, and language; 29000 words and a happy ending

Overboard - A.Y. Caluen
OverboardPairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 29000

Character Identities: Lesbian

Summary: A F/F romance novella about reinvention. Dana was new to West Hollywood and a little shy of going out much. Turned out she didn't need to worry: her sitcom had ended a year before, and now she was yesterday's news. That is, until she met the cute barista named Rory. Dana had been in the closet her whole life: stepping out of it was scary. Her friend Andy was there to help her navigate the new landscape ... and nothing much scared Rory. Would it be a summer fling, or a real romance? It didn't take long for Dana to know this was the connection she'd always dreamed of making. And once Rory discovered what true love felt like, they were both ready to show it all.

Stripped - A.Y. Caluen
StrippedPairings: F-F
Published:

Word Count: 83400

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: It was a risk for Victor to come out. A risk for Andy to take the plunge with a younger, better-known performer. And a big risk when Victor's show decided to break boundaries. But when the time and the love is right ... sometimes you have to let the whole world see it. Andy's second act was as a commercial photographer, and he was doing all right. He kept getting new and interesting jobs, and meeting new and interesting people. The L.A. arts scene being what it was, those people kept turning up in interesting places ... like at the Brewery complex where he lived. Victor was there to get a new tattoo. It was a carpe diem kind of night, and he'd liked Andy back when the older man did photography for Victor's stage project. So he went with the impulse. But in the morning light, all the potential complications knocked him sideways. It was going to take some time for them to find a path together. And with everyone watching, it was going to take some nerve.

Exposure - Alexandra Caluen
ExposurePairings: M-M
Published:

Word Count: 73200

Character Identities: Gay

Summary: A second-chance M/M romance novel about finding your groove. Mateo de la Cruz expected to dance, drink, and maybe get picked up when he hit West Hollywood on his birthday. He didn’t expect to wake up with an epic hangover, fully clothed, in the bed of the guy who gave him the best dance of the night. Sam Lee didn’t expect the birthday boy to be such good company, especially not with a hangover. A day off together led to dinner, which led to going back to bed. It was perfect, which was scary. When Mateo left, Sam panicked. They didn’t see each other again for a year. Then Mateo tracked Sam down again, to see if they could figure out why neither of them had been able to move on. And once they'd figured that out, it was time to figure out their next moves. REVISED EDITION.

Beat - A.Y. Caluen
BeatPairings: M-M
Published:
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My Holiday Star

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

A M/M holiday romance novella about finding your way home.

Rhett Carpenter’s early fame ended with a crash. Sixteen years later, he’s working steadily: writing, producing, narrating, even acting. He’s made a decent life for himself. The trouble is, he never wanted a life that was only for himself, and he’s not sure he wants this one anymore.

Gabriel Aguilar didn’t know who Rhett was when they met on the train, but it didn’t take long to find out. They noticed each other around the neighborhood, as well as on the Metro. Months later, when Gabriel’s apartment burned down, Rhett offered the vacant studio behind his house.

They weren’t close, but they were friends. So when Rhett needed someone to reach out, Gabriel did. And before long, they were much more than friends.

Adult situations, themes, and language; 34000 words and a happy ending.

Content alert for depression.

Excerpt:

I didn’t get in touch with my parents right away. Or at least, I didn’t mention hosting Thanksgiving. After that talk with Gabriel, I started my daily walks again. That was painful at first, because everybody who recognized me asked about Bette. But then they were all so sorry, and so kind. Telling me she was a good dog, and good dogs never really leave us.

In between that and work, I went on a decorating binge. Got the porch all set up, and Jesus, it was so easy to make it look nice. I didn’t have many DIY skills but I could at least put up drapery. The following Sunday, I knocked on Gabriel’s door and asked him to come see.

He followed me right out, across the scruffy patch of yard between driveway and screen door, brushing his shoes off on the new welcome mat and stepping inside. “Wow, dude. This looks great. Your folks are gonna be impressed.”

READ MORE

I’d found blackout drapery in a shimmery kind of beige and hung it all around the porch, with shower liners on the screen side to protect the fabric from what passed for weather. String lights fastened to the drapery rods, a big indoor-outdoor rug, and a new six-seat dining set. That was indoor-outdoor too; metal frames, with a glass top on the table. I’d dressed it up for him with a tablecloth that looked good with the chair cushions. “Still need to get those loungers out of here.” They were crammed up against the wall of the house.

“My people can be here next Saturday, get that garage cleared out for you.”

“Great. Fantastic.” I blew out a breath. This was where I might be jumping the tracks. “I had another idea, and you can say if it’s a bad one.”

“Mmm?”

“They’re not going to buy me hosting T-day with my tenant.”

“Your – oh. Ooh.” He stared at me, but not in an offended way. I’d’ve sworn he was pleased. “You need a fake boyfriend.”

The truth was, I needed a real boyfriend, and the more I thought about Gabriel the more I knew who I wanted that boyfriend to be. I wasn’t above easing into it from the side. “I’ve mentioned you before. This guy I see when I go to the office. We met up when I was walking Bette. His apartment burned down. He’s living in the studio unit. They won’t be surprised.”

He still looked kind of pleased, but he said, “Will they think I’m an opportunistic leech who only wants you for money and fame?”

I shouldn’t have laughed, but I couldn’t hold it back. “Shit, I didn’t mean to laugh, sorry. It’s a good question. Maybe, until they meet you. Then they’ll know better, especially if you let them see your space.”

Stepping into the studio earlier that week, I could hardly believe it. After all, the first night he stayed there he had literally nothing but a bike, a laptop, his phone, a file box, and the clothes he stood up in. I’d loaned him a card table and folding chair excavated from the Garage of Doom, and a blow-up mattress from the back of my closet with beach towels to throw over it. I mean, it was a step up from a homeless shelter – at least it was private, with the kitchenette and a full bath – but not a big step.

Now he had a Progressive desk like mine with an ultrawide monitor, a high-quality task chair, a daybed, and a dinette set. Couple of nice small rugs, for warm feet getting out of bed or sitting down to eat. Framed family pictures on the wall in the kitchenette. It all said this guy was stable, organized, and doing fine for money. He had one of those cube shelves, two high by four wide. It was full of books and topped with a stained-glass lamp he told me his cousin made.

There wasn’t a lot of open floor space now, but everything looked great with the vinyl flooring and the lighting I’d installed. He hadn’t bothered with covering the awning windows on the fireplace wall. They were too high up to make a person feel exposed, and the glass was tinted anyway. Gabriel told me he watched TV on the big monitor. He also said he’d been saving for good furniture whenever he finally moved out of that garage apartment, and that he had renter’s insurance. Now he said, “I’m gonna get a cushion made for that brick bench under the windows. And I was wondering about the fireplace.”

“I have no idea if it works.”

“That’s what I was wondering.”

It made me almost laugh again. “I never had a specific inspection for it. Let me get someone in to do that. Sweep the chimney, or whatever, and make sure the gas line is safe. That would be cool, right? Having a working fireplace?”

“I’d love it,” he agreed. “I could see it from bed. Probably never turn on the furnace.”

And shit, I probably shouldn’t be thinking how much I’d like to be in bed with him, looking at a fire. My libido woke way the hell up in the past week. “Then your place would really look like a prosperous tech guy’s bachelor pad.”

“The kind of place someone would live who didn’t need to leech off of you.”

“Not that I’m this super rich guy.” I don’t know why I said that. Maybe because I needed him to know we weren’t so far apart. I’d had enough money of my own to buy this little property south of the airport, and enough to live on in a modest way. The work I did was for money. Until and unless I got cast again in something major, I’d always need to be looking for a job. He probably had a higher monthly income than I did. But the truth was, I still had a lot of money, and the fact that it was mostly in a retirement account didn’t make me less rich. I looked around the porch again. “Anyway, so I did all right here.”

“You did good here. Like you’ve been decorating all your life.”

I gave him a look and he laughed. Then I suggested a cup of coffee, out here, because it was a nice day. He said something about maybe walking down to the supermarket for a pastry. I said I’d do that if he’d scramble us some eggs. It felt kind of daring, but he said he’d love to.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Bob-O-Link on Rainbow Book Reviews wrote:

Let’s start with two good news items: ‘My Holiday Star’ is a lovely, satisfying adult read, with three-dimensional characters developing on the page before us – and – (but maybe this isn’t good news!) the book is plot- and character-driven and so may well be read holding it in both hands! Sorry to disappoint any potential readers hoping for that additional soupçon of excitement.

Rhett, at thirty-six, has a history of acting since having been a child, but now is long between active engagements. Past emotional difficulties (including the recent loss of a beloved pet and the occasional misuse of recreational drugs) have made him well aware that the “abyss of nothing” (i.e., suicide) could well be his future. But Rhett seems determined that the abyss not be his enemy; he needs to gain control of his own life again. Thus, the opening theme presents Rhett’s ambivalence concerning surviving and going forward. Unusual for so much current gay lit, ‘My Holiday Star’ isn’t about wanting sex, getting sex, regretting sex, and interminably narrow viewpoints about sex. Rather, it is a fine construct of fully-rounded main characters and their separate and joint developments. Rhett’s and Gabe’s evolving relationship is surprisingly different, more dependent on character than mere coital desire.

Even Gabriel’s past is tainted with a four-month marriage ending when his husband found it too “boring”.

We can now say goodbye to our constituency of hedonists, as we delve into the joinder of our main characters. They become friends, roommates. They plan Thanksgiving as an occasion for a fake boyfriend trope as Rhett invites his parents to dinner. They cooperate in redecorating. They grow, with Rhett, particularly, gaining strength and hope. And as anticipated, trope becomes truth, fake becomes genuine, validating the author’s literary talent.

Conversations between adults are perfect; the main characters communicate; Rhett and his therapist enlighten us; grownups are actually talking as adults to their parents. Sex, when present, is almost incidental to the plot – though clearing passionate and fulfilling. The heroes realize that they will deserve love only when they feel secure, and what is wanted isn’t just an affair but a true relationship. Author Caluen masters the flow of events and people just perfectly and with great insight. Let’s “… make sure we’re not mistaking drama for romance.”

Ordinarily, I would offer a plethora of piquant quotes from the work being reviewed – a clever (cheap?) proof of the pudding. Not here, as the style itself is so essential to full enjoyment. This is how quality gay romance for grownups should be written. Enjoy, please.

Ulysses on Queeromance Ink wrote:

As I’ve come to expect, Alexandra Caluen does it just right. This is a delicate little love story, with some dark undertones that in no way make it a dark or angsty story. Caluen manages the language and the setting so deftly that, to me at least, it felt real. For a classic m/m romance, this was like experiencing someone else’s life.

Rhett and Gabriel. Neighbors who know each other in a sort of casual way, until the day that Gabriel’s home burns down (careless fireworks in the neighborhood) and Rhett offers him his unused studio apartment by the garage. This detail alone is very California, very Los Angeles. You don’t get these in the East much.

But then, or in fact right away, you learn that Rhett is depressed, and that Gabriel, in the most delicate, loving way, pulls him back from the edge. Gabriel sees what’s going on, and interferes without being intrusive or judgmental. He acts with respect and from a place of generosity and genuine humanity. From that point on the story continues to alternate between Rhett’s and Gabriel’s viewpoint – made more interesting by the fact that each man talks about the other man as much as he talks about himself.

There is not a lot of “action” in this – just as in Caluen’s other “LA Stories.” People live their lives, and in this case two youngish men live their lives near each other in ever-tightening circles.

Rhett’s life history is the more complicated, which we gradually learn until we feel we fully understand why he ended up in the dark place Gabriel found him. Gabriel, on the other hand, also has a sad story, but not an unusual sad story in this modern world. His hardship has brought him into Rhett’s world, and awakens Rhett’s need to look outside himself recognize how he can make someone else feel better, and together they begin to find their way into happiness.

5 Stars.


About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Liberty

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

John Hancock Darrow left his North Carolina hometown after college. The only reason he’s there twenty-eight years later is to deal with estate business when his mother and sister are killed in an automobile crash. The realtor he chooses to list his mother’s B&B can’t make that hurt less, but he can help John forget it for a while.

Small-town, self-employed, multiple job holding Daniel Washburn doesn’t expect more than after-dinner sex with the big-city lawyer. When the man turns up at the local ballroom studio a few days later, Daniel’s happy to dance with him. When they start working out an unusual deal for the B&B, they begin to feel like friends. Then during one of their many phone calls, John asks if he can take Daniel to dinner.

John and Daniel keep finding reasons to stay in touch. Then to be lovers. Then to get married. It’s a convenience, John says. Daniel knows it’s more. But John’s ten years older, successful, the kind of man who owns a million-dollar New York City condo and can afford to give away a house. If he wants Daniel on any terms, he surely has his reasons.

Daniel’s willing to wait for the right moment to put that convenience nonsense to rest. Because he’s got his own reasons, and the truth will set them free.

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Excerpt:

We connected on Sunday evening again, and this time there was none of that irritation in his tone. “Mr. Washburn,” he said. “How’s life treating you?”

“Well, one of my other listings is under contract, I’ve lined up a room to rent in Charlotte, and nobody at home has found me out yet, so I’m good.”

He was laughing. “Tell me about Charlotte.”

Really? He wanted to know that? I swear, this man made me feel like we were friends. “You met Sarah at Partner Up, I believe. Pretty lady who teaches there.” I heard a sound of assent. “She’s got some friends over that way, quite a lot of friends actually. One of them’s had an empty nest since last year and doesn’t like it. But she didn’t much want a twenty year old stranger moving in, being all kinds of a mess. When she heard how old I was, she said we should meet. So I ran over there this week, we had lunch, and we shook hands on it.”

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“I suppose if Sarah vouched for you, she was inclined to like you anyway. Then when she met you, she probably thought she won the lottery.”

I laughed. “There you go again, making me feel special.”

“You are special.” He cleared his throat, which made me think maybe he hadn’t meant to say that, and changed the subject. “So about this damn house of Angelica’s.”

I gave him the rundown. All the pros and cons for the nonprofit about leasing, and about buying. “They’re looking at a proposal I drafted,” I told him. “Trying to make it a workable deal for everyone.”

“Appreciate that,” he said. “I meant to boil down what my colleague told me and get it to you, but it’s been another hellacious week. Long story short, they think I’d be crazy to do it as a lease agreement. Too much potential liability, especially at long distance.”

No surprise there. “I kind of figured,” I admitted. “So maybe it’s better to consider it as a purchase, but is the no money down thing an automatic deal-breaker?”

“Hmm.” John didn’t rush to answer, and I didn’t try to hurry him along. After a minute, he said, “Not to be a dick about it, but I’m not hurting for money. So I don’t truly need a down payment. If it’s thirty years of payments, that’s something to consider for retirement. I should talk to the people who handle my trust.”

“Yeah, okay.” I didn’t know anybody else who had a trust. What even was a trust? Lord have mercy, this man was so out of my league.

The thought made my brain short out a little. We were just friends, right? We hooked up once, and now we were talking about selling his house, with a side order of my back to college adventure. That’s all it was.

Then he said, “Look, I’ll prioritize these questions tomorrow so we can get this moving. I know those folks need to get something settled in time to fill the place up before school starts. Once I know what I need to know, I’ll pass it along to you. And if the alumni association decides to proceed, I’ll come down there to meet those people.”

“Sounds good.”

“And Daniel.” He stopped. I made an inquiring sound. He made a hesitant sound, then sighed. “When I’m down there again, can I take you out to dinner?”

I held the phone away a little bit, stared at it, then put it back to my ear. Cautiously, as if it might explode. “Uh, John, how do you mean? Because of course, but did you mean like a date? Or am I just hearing what I want to hear?”

He huffed out a laugh. “You wanted me to ask you out?”

“Hell yeah!”

John laughed out loud. “Well good, because that’s what I meant. I’ve got no business asking you out, but I keep thinking about you.”

“I do too,” I said softly.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Sadonna on Love Bytes wrote:

High-powered New York lawyer John Hancock Darrow returns to his small hometown after the sudden death of his estranged mother and his sister. He needs to settle the estate and sell the B&B in his family’s ancestral home. Daniel Washburn is the real estate agent he signs with. They have an attraction and have what they assume is a one night stand. But then they run into each other at the local dance studio. They both enjoy ballroom and as John is getting ready to leave to head back to his law partnership in New York, he asks if he can call Daniel. Daniel says yes of course.

Daniel is tired. He’s working three jobs, supporting his extended family and not happy with his prospects. One day he breaks down at the dance studio where he has taken to going to get work done away from his family drama. He gets support from his friends there. He had dropped out of school in his last semester after a bad breakup with his first boyfriend. He just couldn’t bring himself to finish – what was the point? So he’s been hustling for 20 years getting no place. He shares this with John in one of their phone conversations. John tells him something he literally has never though of before. That advice is the catalyst he needs. He is going to make change in his life and go for what he wants so that he doesn’t have to spend the second half of his life on the hamster wheel.

Meanwhile John is figuring some things out too. He really likes Daniel and he wants to see where this could go. Daniel also brings him a creative solution to his real estate problem. They are both ready to move on to the next stage of their lives. Never mind that they have different background and experiences. They have both been through a lot and John wants things now he never thought he would. But he’s nearly 50 and he’s lonely and he finds Daniel more than physically attractive. He knows Daniel is a good person, smart, motivated, a hard worker and he has a very good heart.

When Daniel’s long ago ex comes back into the picture it’s a big surprise. And the even bigger surprise is that he needs Daniel’s help. He’s also very sorry when he learns that the breakup sent Daniel into a tailspin and that he’s been struggling all this time while he went on to fame and fortune. But he is truly sorry and he wants to make things right. This turns out to be serendipitous and plays into John’s desire to spend more time with Daniel and he makes him an offer to marry him. They really do get along and though he makes the offer as a marriage of convenience, nobody is too fooled. Certainly John’s best friend Quinn isn’t. And Quinn’s new man Marc isn’t.

Daniel is still finishing his degree though and his time with John is limited. But they manage holidays and a wonderful trip to New York for Daniel over the semester break. John still has a lot of baggage and things to sort through post his devastating loss. Luckily he understands that the needs professional help and he gets it. There is a lot that needs doing for him to get closure. With the love and support of family and friends and a few surprises along the way, this couple earns their well-deserved HEA.

This is a very engaging story was such a good read. There are so many great life lessons and insights in this book. I kind of don’t want to spoil the theme of the story, but I can say it’s recurring and valid and yes, liberating. Whether it’s John advising Daniel, Marc advising John or Daniel advising Brianna and Derrick, over and over this theme is so important to the arc of these characters stories. I truly loved how things ended up for all of the important people in this book. There is also a nice little easter egg crossover with the first book I read by this author, Mistletango. I really do not want to spoil the unfolding of this story or the lessons learned and the romance of these two men. I will just end by saying that this is a very effective tale of two men who connect at the right time and are able to provide for each other the path to true personal liberty.

Triple Review on Queeromance Ink wrote:

The Reviews

Jay

This is a very well written novel about a romance between two older, middle-aged men. John is a hot-shot lawyer, but is single partly because of abandonment issues. When he goes to deal with a house he has inherited, he meets Daniel, who dropped out of college for personal reasons and is getting by on a number of jobs, with issues of self esteem and family problems.

There is instant chemistry (and sex) but the romance grows slowly. When Daniel returns to education, the men enter into a marriage which both claim is one of convenience, but their love is obvious to their friends and families.

This is set against a great deal of information about their careers, their hobbies, and the people they know. The worldbuilding gives us a strong sense of their backgrounds and their characters, and whilst there is no serious drama other than self-questioning, there is constant interest in how they and others will react to their romance.

There is a sub-plot relating to coming out of the closet for Daniel’s ex, and another to John’s absent father.

A beautifully structured novel that builds a fascinating and detailed picture of the two men, and has the reader hoping all will go well for both of them. Highly recommended.

Five Stars.

Tony

Liberty is a gentle story about being strong and going for what you want from life, rather than doing what everyone expects of you. I’m not talking about selfish aims, but the ones that mean the most, without losing sight of those you love.

Talking about love, that’s the other strong theme in this romance. Yeah duh! The two main protagonists. John and Daniel, meet and are attracted to each other, but don’t see any way they could get together except for the fact they meet again at a dance studio. There is a running theme of Liberty, in the form of the Statue of Liberty, or Lady Liberty as referred to here, but I think there is also a case for thanking Lady Luck or Fortuna, one of the Fates.

John and Daniel have both been let down in love under similar circumstances. The story charts their different responses to that, and how strong it has made them. One of the things they have in common is their unwillingness to speak their true feelings for each other, although they are honest to their inner selves.

This book is full of southern charm and warmth, without making those of us with a cold Northern soul groan. It is not all smiles and rainbows, as the two guys have to face up to difficulties of a long distant relationship and ex partners who won’t stay down.

There are moments that make you chuckle, and others that make your heart sing. It took me a while to get into it but the rewards are well worth it. A really lovely read.

Ulysses

I liked this book from the start; but what seemed at first like a flirty little romance became, as the story unfolded, something ineffably profound and moving.

First we have the fifty-year-old New York corporate lawyer, returning to his small North Carolina hometown to settle his mother’s estate after a tragic accident has claimed the lives of both his mother and his sister. We only know his name is John.

Then there’s the realtor who’s taken on the task of selling John’s “problematic property,” a rambling Victorian turned into a bed-and-breakfast with far too many bedrooms for any family to want. Ten years younger than the lawyer, he overhears an awkward conversation between John and a local married man who, apparently, was his boyfriend back in high school.

The odd circumstances give the realtor the opportunity to come out to the lawyer, sharing a similar story of being jilted by a closeted boyfriend in the very same high school. This leads to a romantic interlude which might have been the end of it—had not John run into Daniel—as we learn his name is—at a local ballroom dancing club called Partner Up.

John is white, and from a “good” family in this small town near Asheville. He left town when he was rejected by his mother for being gay, and made his way into a big-city future. Daniel is black, and he stayed behind to help his family, who struggled financially and needed him. Two different men, half a generation apart, who have had similar experiences but different opportunities and made different choices as a result.

The core of this tale is the gradual awakening of John and Daniel to each other, their initial sexual interaction is a catalyst for a friendship that neither of them expected. John is a workaholic, and so is Daniel; but John has become rich, and Daniel is still barely getting by. Both of them are lonely. Both of them love to dance. Their common roots in the same repressed small southern town provide a link that becomes something more.

What is striking about Caluen’s story is that race, while significant, is not the driving force of the narrative. It seems that their ten-year age gap is the key. I get the feeling that, if they’d been in school together, both of their stories might have been different. Quite by accident, each of them gets a second chance at happiness.

It’s a subtle structure that Caluen weaves here, not following the usual romantic tropes. Each man balances his self-interest with his growing feelings for the other. It is not starry-eyed love at first sight; it is mutual respect that inspires self-transformation.

Five stars.


LIBERTY addresses issues of family rejection, internalized homophobia, and racism.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


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Unmasked

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

A slice-of-life M/M Hollywood romance novel about growing into yourself.

Victor Garcia and Andy Martin had known each other for eight years. Been in love for seven and a half. Been together – really together – for six, and married for two. So many milestones, so much change. Victor looked at his life sometimes and thought, this can’t be for real.

Going into 2020, they had a full year of work scheduled. Then life got weird, and for a minute it seemed a lot of things wouldn’t happen. It took some ingenuity and a ton of paperwork to make sure all those projects didn’t evaporate. It also took stepping up. Victor knew those two movies could be salvaged with a few changes, so he sent in spec rewrites. Not much later, they were in Europe for career-changing roles.

Andy was thrilled, not just because both movies were going to be better this way, but because he loved Victor’s new confidence. Every time the guy tried something new and it worked, he opened up a little more. Andy had to match that, because it was only fair. Even when the things that spilled out hurt.

Excerpt:

Ordinarily Andy might have solicited some mutually-agreeable cuddle time after a session like that, but when he got home Victor was fired up over a stage musical he wanted to rewrite. A few years ago Andy would have fled the scene; now he settled in to obsess about it with his husband. That didn’t really end until they’d talked to Tanith after dinner. Once something approaching a plan was in place, Victor set down his phone. Andy handed over the pad of paper full of his scribbled notes from the call. Victor made a ‘do you think I can read that?’ face, dropped it on the kitchen counter, and wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck. They stood there for a few minutes doing nothing but hugging. Then he sang, very softly, a line from their upcoming concert’s finale number. “‘Say you love me every waking moment.’”

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Andy took the next line. “‘Turn my head with talk of summertime.’” He kissed Victor again. They sang the last line together. “‘That’s all I ask of you.’”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Let’s take Molly out for a minute, and then go to bed.”

They were outside for more than a minute. It was a chilly, clear night. The tenants in the triplex next door were quiet, as usual. Their guard acknowledged them briefly and then pretended they weren’t out there at all. The security floodlight at the construction site next door was angled away from their own yard, and the piazza lights strung across from the main house to the home studio had already gone off. They let Molly roam around the yard while they stood under their big pepper tree, wrapped in each other’s arms in the dark. “So what did you have to say to Dr. LaSalle today,” Victor said softly. “We’re pretty good now, right?”

“You are perfect.” Andy kissed him. “I feel great.” Another kiss. “I talked about how we’re still all over each other.”

Victor was smiling against that beard. “What did she say about that.”

“She had me run down the whole history of the world and all the stuff we’ve done. She said the way we’ve been evolving, it’s no wonder we’re not tired of each other.”

Not even close to tired of you. Victor had an earlobe in his mouth, a hand under Andy’s jacket, and a significant hard-on. Andy was holding him close with one arm. The other hand was in Victor’s hair. His breathing rate had picked up since Victor put his mouth to work. Victor put his other hand on Andy’s ass and pressed them together. He opened his mouth enough to say, “I want you.”

Andy shivered from the tickle of Victor’s mustache. “Then take me, you pirate.”

If it hadn’t been for that damned floodlight, Victor might have done it right there. Instead he stepped away so they could both see where they were going, which was back to the house. Molly beat them to the door. They went inside, locked up, kicked off their shoes and hung up their jackets. Brushed Molly, then went upstairs. Did the bare minimum of washing up.

Victor lit a candle on the nightstand. Now there was enough light. “Let’s see you,” he said, because apparently he was in charge tonight. Andy obediently stripped, then stood waiting for instructions. Eyes dark and warm, mouth faintly smiling, half-hard. Victor put a hand on his chest, drawing his short nails through the hair. Tracing circles around Andy’s nipples, then a line down from sternum to navel. A little more pressure as he circled that, because he didn’t want to tickle. Thumb along the ridge of the hipbone. Fingernails again, through the hair at Andy’s groin. “Legs apart.” Exploring as if he didn’t know this body as well as he knew his own. Cupping, fondling, stroking. Victor was dying to get his clothes off and his skin against Andy’s. He was standing close, but at an angle. Andy was still, passive, keeping his hands to himself even now that he was fully aroused. Victor couldn’t decide what to do next. “I think I want your mouth,” he said.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Ulysses on Queeromance Ink wrote:

To read one of Alexandra Caluen’s LA stories is to be dropped suddenly into a world full of everyday life that you know nothing about. At first disorienting, Caluen’s great skill at writing fiddly detail of the mundane and bringing it to life eventually brings the inchoate swirls of facts and names into something like focus. From that point on, the reader becomes part of the story, invested in the shared life of Andy Martin and Victor Garcia, even while sometimes barely grasping the big picture of who they are.

The title is doubly potent. Set in the year 2020, it chronicles the life of a hotshot Hollywood industry couple during the first and worst pandemic year. The second meaning of the title relates to the complicated backstories of the main characters, and the gradual unmasking of painful truths that these men, together as a couple for six years, have never voiced to each other.

The nearly claustrophobic intimacy of pandemic lockdown doesn’t derail the loving relationship that has grown between Victor (43) and Andy (53) in the years since they met on the set of a successful TV series. As they negotiate the messy world created by the pandemic, from real estate to concerts to European film shoots, Victor and Andy never lose sight of each other. They begin to dig through the fog of celebrity that began with their rise into A-list celebrity. Caluen wants us to understand that, in spite of their age difference and the complicated beginnings of their relationship, they have something that will survive and thrive.

A large part of Victor and Andy’s reputation is tied to their coming out as a couple publicly, with all the attendant buzz—positive and negative—that this created in a world as two-faced as Hollywood is. The dark side of celebrity—and eventually the unshared traumas of their past lives—get brought into the story, providing moments of emotional intensity and shocking revelation.

All of this intricate interweaving of action and detail includes the broad professional kinship network that people in “the industry” carry with them. You have to simply let the plethora of names wash over you, understanding that in the end you’ll know who everybody is and how they fit into Victor and Andy’s life. It is a reminder, beautifully expressed, of how enormous “Hollywood” is, and how far beyond the brightest lights in the media papers the industry goes.

The icing on the cake, as it were, is the fact that Caluen infuses the whole narrative with a Latinx accent—Andy is a half-Puerto-Rican chorus boy, and Victor is a late-bloomer from Mexico. They not only act, but they dance (tap and tango), and sing (showtunes and more), and Andy is a successful photographer.

On top of this, they both have fertile imaginations that come up with new things they can do together on a daily basis. It is remarkable to see how, when the distractions of the world are forced aside by lockdown and isolation, these two men begin to see each other more clearly, to truly understand what they have known all along.


This book is set in the real world of 2020. Additional content alerts for past trauma.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Undertow

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

A F/F/M romance novel about having it all.

Vicky and Sharon had a great place to live, jobs they liked, excellent neighbors and landlords, and a four-year-old daughter they loved. Ten years after they went from best friends to lovers, they were married and prospering, starting to talk about the one thing they were missing. What came next?

Marco Hidalgo was still trying to decide how to tell his wife his show was cancelled when he got home and found the note. Four years after they went from co-workers to married, it was over. It didn’t seem to matter what came next, so he reached out to the one person who was always on his side.

When newly-single Marco turned up on Vicky’s movie set, she called Sharon to ask What If. Sharon said Why Not, and Marco said it might be revenge. Vicky said if it wasn’t at least a little bit revenge, she’d be concerned. So they tried it, and it worked, and now all three of them had to figure out what came next.

Adult situations, themes, and language; 77300 words and a happy ending.

This book is on:
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Published:
Publisher: Independently Published
Genres:
Tags:
Pairings: F-F, F-F-M, M-F, M-M
Heat Level: 3
Romantic Content: 3
Ending: Click here to reveal
Character Identities: Bisexual, Questioning, Polyamorous
Protagonist 1 Age: 36-45
Protagonist 2 Age: 36-45
Protagonist 3 Age: 26-35
Tropes: Age Difference, Families/Raising Kids, Love Triangle, Married Life, Sex Buddies Become Lovers
Word Count: 77300
Languages Available: English
Excerpt:

Sharon and I talked about everything and negotiated well, a thing you find out fast when you start taking dance lessons together. Performing together. Training for the Gay Games together. There was only one bump in our mostly-smooth road, which was sex.

Both lesbian, no men, no problem. Both bi, no men … not exactly a problem, but let’s just say both of us had been known to comment on the vast array of gorgeous male flesh we were constantly faced with and unable to indulge with.

Except ‘unable’ is only the right word for the half of those awesome men who were gay. ‘Unwilling’ is the right word for the other half. Once you get into your thirties, most of the awesome men you know tend to be married, like we were. Some of them have kids, like we do (Sharon got pregnant thanks to the fertility clinic and our longtime coach Dmitri. Our daughter Nina Simone was, God help us, four years old now).

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We’d had a couple of those conversations – you know the ones, where you’re sitting in the dark and you’re drinking and you’re talking real low so nobody can possibly overhear, especially not your landlords on the other side of the duplex – in which the notion of opening the marriage had been floated. But when? Where? With whom? Maybe some people put an ad on Craigslist, but we had famous friends and a child. If we were ever going to find ourselves a man, it had to be someone we could really trust.

Thus, we had not even really tried looking. But the other things we’d tried were not really solving the problem.

Being touched goes a long, long way. Being held and cuddled and kissed by the person you love, having orgasms with that person, affirming your love on a daily basis: that goes a long way.

If neither of us ever knew what fucking a man could be like, we’d probably be perfectly happy. But we did know. I, especially, did know. The last man I fucked was Vince, and he’s the kind of lover you think fondly of. I wasn’t jealous of his wife Kelli (I wasn’t. Okay, a little), who by the way was also in this show. She’s amazing. I love her. I would not by so much as a pat on the ass betray their marriage.

And all that said, dancing intimately with a series of spectacular men, some straight, for years, didn’t stop me missing the D. Quite the opposite.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Lucy on Queeromance Ink wrote:

Undertow is like reading all the fun celebrity magazines and articles but getting the real deal instead of the glamorous window dressings. Set in the world of the Hollywood-adjacent, this strangely sweet novel follows the intertwining lives of Vicky, Sharon, and Marco.

Vicky and Sharon are madly in love, have a great relationship and a precocious daughter. They have great lives, good friends, and careers that allow them to do a lot of the things they want to do.

Marco thought he had the same, until his show was cancelled and he came home to find his wife had left him. Emotionally bruised, Marco is intrigued when Vicky and Sharon approach him for a friends-with-benefits arrangement.

This novel is so well-written, with snippets of lives that are outside the every-day norm, but intriguing for just that reason. One of the things I loved about it is that Sharon and Vicky work on their relationship. They have real conversations about what’s good, what might need attention, and what either of them can’t see working. As bisexual women in a committed lesbian relationship, they both feel like they’re missing ‘the d’. And so they start looking for someone who could fit into their relationship, and provide an aspect of their sex lives that they’d like to improve.

Marco’s wife has left him with absolutely no explanation. He’s feeling unloved, unwanted, unsexy. His insecurities have left him a little raw. So Vicky’s invitation gives him the chance to lick his wounds, have some great no-strings sex, and to emotionally regroup.

I loved how Caluen writes about this big, sexy man having insecurities about his own body, his acting, and his ability to maintain a relationship. Marco has real conversations with Vicky and Sharon about all those things.

Undertow was a fabulous story filled with quirky, interesting characters, hot sex, and a fun backdrop of theater and movie stars living their best lives. This was my first book by Alexandra Caluen, but it definitely won’t be the last.


About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

The Hunting Box

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

Nick, Charlie, and Stephen, sons of an earl, a baronet, and a freshly knighted barrister, met at school and became fast friends. The young noblemen went on to university while Stephen read law in London. All three exchange letters and visits, even spending holidays together for the next thirteen years. Their terms of intimacy, while close, have been undefined: Nick and Charlie have a separate relationship, Charlie and Stephen another.

In November 1819, Nick invites his two friends for three weeks at his country lodge. He worries that their bonds may be sundered by circumstance: he is to be married. While this was always inevitable, they must all now face up to the changes it will bring.

Mere days into their country retreat, all three have confirmed their desire for more, not less, intimacy. Ideas are exchanged, affections shared, wishes expressed. Their days together strengthen the mortar of their new connection, giving it time to set.

Along the way, they indulge in every kind of intimacy, safe in the privacy of the hunting box. Will their plans and promises hold once they must part?

Excerpt:

Nick was up and dressed before sunrise, intending to nip down to the kitchen, but stopped outside his room when he heard voices. Following the sounds, he arrived at Charlie’s room, where he tapped on the closed door. “Time for tea?”

A moment later, Stephen pulled open the door. He too was fully dressed and smiling. “Good morning.”

“How’s the baronet?”

“Repenting,” Charlie said from the bed, cradling a cup, heavy-eyed and regretful.

Stephen moved into the room, pulling another chair close to the bed for Nick. “I got in ahead with coffee.”

“You brought some?”

“I did.” Stephen arranged himself on a chair, brushing at invisible lint on his buckskins. “Your Mrs. Shipwood left a full kettle on the hook and it was the work of a moment to grind some beans. At home,” he said with exaggerated wistfulness, “I’ve only the one mortar and pestle. Your kitchen has half a dozen.”

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“He’s brought chocolate, too,” Charlie said. “Apparently the secret to his neat figure is that the man lives on beverages.”

Nick stifled a laugh. “After last night, you’re one to talk!”

“And speaking of talk, should we?” Stephen made eye contact with the viscount, communicating that the mood conduced to confidences.

“I, uh, yes. Of course.” Nick cleared his throat. Stood to close the door, even though he believed no one else was in the house yet, then resumed his seat. “Charlie, Stephen and I spoke last night after putting you to bed and, not to put too fine a point on it, the terms of our intimacy have changed.”

Charlie looked from one to the other, consulted his cup, and appeared to be struggling with something. He finally gave up and laughed. “Oh, God, my head.” He set the cup aside, pressed his temples, then scrubbed his fingers through his disorderly hair. “Nicholas, my dear man. Do you mean to say you fucked? Because let’s give things their proper names.”

Stephen nearly fell off his chair laughing. Nick squirmed, mortified. “Not exactly? But, well, the intent was the same.”

“The intent,” Stephen said, wheezing. “Dearest Charles, I thought you wouldn’t mind, but truly? If I’ve overstepped, I apologize.”

“What? No! I mean no, I don’t mind. Why would I mind? Now all of us can speak freely and Christ, what a relief.” Charlie retrieved his cup, frowned at the grainy residue therein, and returned it to the nightstand. “That was wonderfully restorative, but one does find it a bit gritty.”

Stephen laughed again. “I thought, in the circumstances, to prioritize speedy delivery over perfect filtration.”

“I quite agree.” Charlie regarded his host, who was still pink about the cheeks. “Nick. My dearest dear. All the way here, when I wasn’t hoping you and I could indulge, I hoped Stephen would gird up his loins and speak his mind. I’m so very glad he did. And I’m so very glad you were receptive.”

Another burst of laughter from the barrister. “Receptive.”

Nick gave him an exasperated look. “Can you possibly compose yourself?”

“No!”

A sigh, eyes closed, and a shake of his head. Nick then studied both his friends. “I feel I’ve been blind, or at least blinkered. I should be relieved, and I am, but I’ve so much to say to you both, and it worries me.”

Stephen did, in fact, compose himself. “No doubt it relates to Miss Ashton. Will we shoot today?”

“I thought a ride, perhaps?” Nick gestured to the three of them.

“Yes, so we’ll be free to speak,” said Charlie. “Then tomorrow with your gamekeeper.”

“Fine then. Tea, downstairs, and something to eat.”

Charlie grimaced. “For you. Ugh.”

COLLAPSE

THE HUNTING BOX also appears in the three-novella collection REGENCY LOVERS from JMS Books, LLC.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Come to Me

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

An age-gap M/M romance novella about making beautiful music during lockdown.

When all three of his roommates moved out, Davy Sun’s living situation was a mess. Then friends of a friend offered their pool house for the duration, and it was an offer too good to refuse.

The last thing Davy expected while he was living in some random rich person’s backyard was to meet the man of his dreams. But it turned out the rich guy was friendly with guitarist Barry Teller, who came over to give an open-air lesson.

The lesson turned into a picnic dinner, and then some playing and singing on the patio. Turned out Barry really liked Davy’s voice … and he wanted to hear it from up close.

Content alert: this story is set in the real world of 2020.

Adult situations, themes, and language, with a happy ending.

This book is on:
  • 2 To Be Read lists
Excerpt:

Barry parked his car on the curve of the driveway, since the spaces near the house were occupied. The housekeeper must be there today. Sacha was approaching from the back. “Barry, hi. Come on in.” Holding the gate open, doing one of those subtle head movements that told a person to look somewhere. Barry obediently looked past him to the pool, where someone was hauling out. Made some kind of sound and nearly dropped his guitar case. “That’s our new tenant Davy Sun.”

The guy noticed that Sacha had someone with him. He lunged for a towel, wrapping it around himself as if he were embarrassed. Why anybody with an ass like that would be embarrassed was a mystery. Barry stopped in his tracks, turned maybe forty-five degrees away. Hand on hip, head down, one knee bent. “You all right there?” Sacha sounded amused.

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Barry bit his lip and took a slow breath through his nose. Cleared his throat and spoke very low. “Popped a boner so fast I think I sprained my dick. Jesus.”

Sacha was definitely laughing now, the bastard. He didn’t respond to Barry. Instead he called out, “Come and join us in an hour or so, Davy. I want you to meet Barry.”

“Yeah, okay! Thanks!” The sound of a door closing.

Barry turned around to face Sacha again. “Who in the hell.” He wasn’t even sure why this particular person set off this particular reaction.

“Works for APLA. Occasional drag queen. Musician.”

“Musician?”

“Plays keyboards. We were talking one night and he said he used to play snare in the high school drum line. And he’s a singer.”

“Have you heard him?”

“Mm-hmm. He’s shy but by the end of dinner we might be able to talk him into jamming a little.”

They were moving again now, toward the poolside patio and its row of loungers. A couple normal chairs were out there too, more upright. Better for playing guitar. Barry decided to drop the subject of Davy Sun. A lot of his questions would probably get answered if the guy joined them for dinner. For now, he was going to see if Sacha had been practicing since the last time they worked together.

Unsurprisingly, he had. They reviewed a couple things from the maybe-an-album list, then settled in to work on a new idea of Sacha’s. Barry made him sing it the third time through. “This too-shy-to-sing business is bullshit, by the way.” Sacha laughed under his breath. Barry sat back, stretched out his legs, stared at his student-slash-host. “Why this song?”

“Oh, it’s about Charlie. ‘Your love is better than ice cream.’ And I was looking for another pop waltz to put with all these others. My voice just isn’t right for the INXS song.”

Barry frowned. “If you say so.”

“Well, you should hear Davy do it.” Sacha looked over toward the house, where the back door was opening. “Here comes dinner.”

“Should I get my car out of the way? Is Cecilia hanging out for a while?” He had no idea what the housekeeper’s schedule might be now.

“I’ll go see.” Sacha set down his guitar, stretched his back, and walked over to the house. Barry half-listened to the conversation, which seemed to indicate Cecilia would join them, which meant he didn’t have to do anything right away. After a minute, while she and Charlie were bringing food out, he moved the guitars and went through the carport door to the powder room. Wondering if Davy was going to join them for real, hoping he was. Why this one. Maybe it was just because it’d been so damn long since he got any action. Two hours later he still didn’t know what it was.

The socially-distanced picnic dinner included wine. Barry paced himself, but between the five of them they’d be polishing off two bottles. Davy was clearly uneasy at first – Sacha wasn’t kidding when he said the guy was shy – but loosened up with the second glass. After a while Barry offered a refill; they made eye contact. Davy started to say something, then simply nodded. Keeping his eyes on Barry through the whole walking over with bottle, refilling glass operation. “I’ve been following you since ‘Songs Unheard,’” he said quietly, the first sentence he’d addressed directly to Barry.

“Oh yeah? Sacha said you’re a keyboard guy.”

“Mmm. But I like your hair.” He said it in a rush, glancing away, voice low and a little rough.

Oh. Bam, there was the boner again. Because that sentence had nothing to do with music and everything to do with sex. “I like yours too.”

Davy blushed. “Oh, but it’s such a mess. Since the lockdown I just went to hell. Stopped shaving, let the hair grow out, gained fifteen pounds.” One arm wrapped around his waist as if to disguise it.

This was a conversation now. Barry was half-aware that his hosts were talking amongst themselves. Well, Sacha knew he was attracted to this guy. If he wanted to get Barry’s attention, he knew how. He sat cross-legged on the patio, six feet from Davy, and said, “You look great. Do you like the pool?”

“Oh my God I love it. I’ve never lived in a place with a pool.”

“Me neither. Sacha tried to teach me to swim a few years back.” Barry made a face. “Had to settle for dog-paddle.”

“He didn’t tell me how you guys met.”

Barry silently blessed the man for giving him an opening to talk about himself, so he wouldn’t ask a bunch of questions he had no business asking yet. “Four years ago when Sacha and Charlie started working on their movie, the one about Sacha and Jerry – did you see it?” Davy nodded. Barry went on. “They were looking for a song to use. Found ‘Iris’ and got a license to do a cover. Sacha wanted to play it. Had to learn guitar. Somehow found me.” Davy was smiling. Barry watched him take another sip of wine, thought about how his mouth would taste, firmly redirected his thoughts. “We got kind of friendly. Sacha tends to do that, he’s a people person, you might have noticed.” A soft laugh from Davy, something between a huff and a purr, which didn’t help Barry’s hard-on situation at all.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Ulysses on Queeromance Ink wrote:

Like Alexandra Caluen’s other books, Come to Me is gentle, a bit lyrical, and sweetly tender. It is not filled with angst or trauma, although one of the central characters, Barry Teller, has something of an unhappy past. It is not a past so different from many gay men of his (or even my) age.

What made this book a particular pleasure for me is the fact that it is written, with intent and care for detail, as a document of the 2020 pandemic year. It was almost as if I’d been waiting for someone to do this, as it gave me an odd sense of relief. In its own way, it’s a perfect jewel of a romance.

Barry is a semi-successful musician, making his career in the entertainment world in Los Angeles. And then COVID hits, the world shuts down, and performers of all kinds are pushed to the edge. They scrabble to adapt and survive.

Davy Sun, on the other hand, has a steady job and quite readily shifts to working from home after lockdown. His problem is that, working for a non-profit means he has to share an apartment with other young professionals. As his roommates peel off to return home or otherwise seek shelter during the pandemic, Davy finds he can’t afford the rent and casts about desperately for a new place to live.

In Los Angeles, it’s all about who you know, and Davy knows Ro, with whom he used to do a little light drag for fun. Ro’s boyfriend in England knows people in Los Angeles; and they know people. This leads Davy to Charlie and Sacha.

Charlie and Sacha lead Davy to Barry. This is no spoiler, because it all happens very early in the book. The point of the short book is these two men—one 35 and one 46—meeting each other because of a global crisis; but more than that, it’s about how this pandemic (in which we’re still living, although less fearfully now) changed the world. It’s also about how we all adjusted to it, in spite of death and economic upheaval. Good things happened during the plague year of 2020, and this book is about one of those things.

Come to Me is not a big book. It is a little love story set in a dark time. It is like a bright little blossom blooming in a desert. This is not the first plague gay men have faced, and both Davy and Barry offer us insight into the legacy of resilience that has always been part of our shared history.

Four stars.


About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Third Time Lucky

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

Neither 18-year-old Troy Nakamura nor 22-year-old Laszlo Jovanovic expect anything after their one-night stand. Troy is bound for college and Laszlo is heading to graduate school on the other side of the continent.

They don’t see each other again for five years, when Troy’s former competition dance partner invites him to her wedding, where he can’t resist another encounter with Laszlo. Then he says more than he should. While Laszlo lets him down easy, the fact is Troy’s still in law school and the other man’s work is taking him to Europe. Their first parting wasn’t easy, but this one really hurts.

As Laszlo winds up his final European contract seven years later, a traumatic incident disrupts his intention to stay with his parents for a while. Troy, now living near their families again, offers house room while Laszlo sorts himself out.

Both of them had always thought What If. With privacy, peace, and the opportunity to learn just how they’ve both changed since that first momentous night, is the time finally right for love?

Excerpt:

Right up to my sister’s wedding, I fully expected to spend the rest of 2015 mourning my relationship with Josef. I truly believed that we were in love, that we had a future together, that he was The One.

I expected to wallow in my broken heart for a while, the way a young man disappointed in love should, then take my time parsing the lessons and gearing up to move on.

And then there was Troy Nakamura.

A few images stuck with me, popping into my mind at odd moments during the months that followed. Whenever I wasn’t concentrating, basically, which meant I soon developed a somewhat unhealthy aversion to leisure.

First, Troy at the rehearsal dinner. Dressy casual, as we all were, with those impossibly long legs in jeans, a nice Tommy Bahama shirt on top, silky black hair swept back. Vans loafers and a decent wristwatch and eyeliner, ngh.

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Second, Troy at the wedding, in that unbelievable custom suit, which he told me he only dared buy because he seemed to have finally stopped getting taller. Every unpartnered person, wedding party to guests, kept turning to look at him all night. An unsettling number of the partnered people did too.

Third, Troy at the reception, shedding his jacket to dance. The vest was made Dance Sport style, with a full back. It made him look even taller and slimmer. Once the dancing started, I don’t think he sat down at all. He never got the chance.

We danced together.

I’ll never forget it.

I’ll never stop asking myself why I didn’t apply some fucking discipline and gently decline all his invitations. There was no scenario where we had more than another one-night stand. But then, I honestly didn’t expect to wake up and hear him saying he thought we should stay together. Somehow.

Back to the images. Fourth: Troy in bed at the hotel, one of the lamps on so we could see each other. Despite now being nearly four inches taller than me, sexually fearless, experienced, and (in case it wasn’t clear) fucking gorgeous, he acted like this was the best thing that ever happened to him. Like I was the best thing.

Fifth: Troy in the morning, flushed and wet-eyed, while I told him I didn’t want to try a long-distance thing. Going from lazily stretched out, smiling hopefully at me, to sitting up with his arms around his shins, forehead resting on his knees, after we both mostly stopped crying.

Sixth: Troy in the driver’s seat after dropping me off in Irvine. Love bite on his neck, whisker burn on his jaw, bruise on his lip. That morning’s drive was one of the most awkward, uncomfortable, painful experiences of my life. I knew it would be, which is why I offered to call for a ride, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Said that was part of the sleepover deal, and we were still friends, and he needed to swing by his parents’ house anyhow.

I didn’t suggest exchanging contact information, and he didn’t ask. Maybe we both thought that if we truly needed to get in touch, there was Natalia.

Oh, God, what was I going to tell her?

Because distracted as she was by being Just Married, she definitely got the idea there was something going on between me and Troy. He told her I might crash with him, but we danced together after that, and it was not a chaste we’re-just-friends kind of dance. It was the kind of dance two young gay men use as foreplay. Natalia had never seen me dance like that before; I have no idea if she’d ever seen Troy do it. But it’s pretty unmistakable. Even worse: the next dance was a slow rumba, and we danced actual rumba, and if I hadn’t fully intended to fuck him before that, the decision was made for me then.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Sadonna on Love Bytes Reviews wrote:

This is a really great story!

Troy and Lazlo are in each other’s lives for two really special nights separated by several years. They are so compatible, but the timing is just bad. They have great sex and also don’t run out of things to talk about. But the first time, Troy is only 18 and just graduating from HS. Laz is headed to Europe and then to the other side of the country for Grad school. The second time they meet up at Laz’s sister’s wedding. He’s headed off to Europe and Troy is in law school. They are focused on their careers and getting their lives started. They both realize this is something really special but the timing isn’t right and Laz in particular isn’t interested in trying for long distance. It is a painful parting.

In the intervening years, both are building their careers. Troy goes from San Francisco to Seattle back to Orange County. Then the pandemic strikes. He’s Ok working from home after a while. He’s also dealt with a stalker ex and he’s happy to not have to go to the office. Lax meanwhile has added a bunch of languages to his skillset. He’s done a lot of work he’s happy with and he’s winding up and heading back to the states. After leaving government, he’s on Social Media, so he and Troy keep in loose touching “liking” each other’s posts and pictures.

Laz is headed home when tragedy strikes. He’s not keen to be hovered over by his family. Natalia, Troy’s former dance partner, friend and Laz’s sister calls in a favor asking Troy to pick Laz up and help him out. Troy is happy to so do. He lands at Troy’s house and they fall into an easy and comfortable co-habitation. Troy lets Laz settle at his own pace. They both are at the point in their lives that they are finally ready for something that is not casual. The timing is now right.

Truly a well-written story. Loved the dual POV – we get to see what Troy and Laz are thinking. No guessing. Loved that they communicated as adults all along. Troy is quite mature for his age and they are so compatible in so many ways. I love that Natalia and both families are there for them. There are hint of how ballroom dancing is a catalyst for this relationship and it’s very cool too. A true happily ever after that puts these two guys together where they should be after a dozen years. Loved it and highly recommend.


Content alerts: this novella contains references to the Covid-19 pandemic, a passenger train crash with loss of life, and a stalker incident involving gun violence.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Our Revels Now

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

*2024 Runner-Up : New England Romance Writers Reader's Choice Award - romance novella*

Jeweler Lachlan Beattie does the Renaissance Frolicke event each year; it’s the only time he sees costume designer Taran Kimura. Their vendor stalls have been on opposite sides of the site. Then the year’s event package arrives with a new map: now they’ll be side by side.

Taran sees the new map and considers sending a thank-you note to the management. Finally, no barriers to striking up a conversation with the sexy Scot. They’ve been eyeing each other for years. Taran’s almost fifty; it’s past time to step outside his comfort zone.

Lachlan makes the first move; Taran makes the second. Once they start talking, they never want to stop. They have six weekends to see how far their connection could go. By the end of the second, they both know they want forever.

What could possibly go wrong?

This book is on:
  • 1 Read list
Excerpt:

Lachlan

I started to turn away, my brain already running the checklist. Then remembered who I was talking to, and my manners. “Can I give you a hand with anything?”

Taran gazed at me as he took another sip of whatever was in his cup. Then his gaze dipped, just for a second, as if he were looking at my mouth. When he glanced up again his smile was the tiniest bit wicked. “Maybe later. Let’s get this show on the road.”

I think I said something. Did I say something? Christ, I hope I said something, rather than reversing myself like a speechless fucking automaton and jogging off back to my car. Honestly couldn’t tell you, though. All that was in my mind was: he flirted with me. Taran Kimura bloody flirted with me. The first time we spoke! First thing in the morning! Me looking as crap as I always did, and him as fine as he always did.

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Heaven help me, he was even better up close. All that black hair, shot with silver, pulled back in a sleek braid. Those bright brown eyes, set between winged eyebrows and high cheekbones, framed with the finest lines. From a few feet away I’d’ve said he was twenty years younger than me. From the distance we’d been talking (less than arm’s length) I’d revised that. He might be no more than five years younger; might even be older.

Though by any measure more good-looking than me, I suppose he wasn’t truly movie-star handsome. I didn’t care. I had twelve long days to look at him, and look I would.

****

Taran

Was I flirting? Had I actually pulled that off, first thing in the morning, first real conversation, without even one inhibition-lowering beverage under my belt? Did I really do that thing where I glanced at his mouth as if I was imagining a kiss?

I did.

I actually did that thing.

I could feel myself blush at the audacity of it, though fortunately not until Lachlan had jogged off in the direction of his car. Some guys look cute when they blush, getting that sweet pink cheek thing going; I look like a cartoon, red as an apple from my hairline to the top of my chest.

But I didn’t have to worry about it, because my dolly and my garment rack and all my boxes of stock didn’t care about my face. They just wanted me to not drop them in the dirt.

Getting stuff out of the car was by far the easiest part of the day, which was good, because my attention was definitely split. I couldn’t get over the fact that Lachlan came to talk to me. I mean, he really honestly obviously came to talk to me, because he passed everyone else along the way and didn’t stop for longer than it took to shake hands.

And I swear, I would’ve been happy just to make a new friend, but there was more going on than that. I might be shy, but I wasn’t the guy who would say oh, he’s not really interested in me, why would he be interested in me. We had some important stuff in common, based on the simple fact that we were both artists who exhibited at the Frolicke. I was reasonably certain that we were close to the same age. Now I knew that we both also had day jobs. And that we’d both wanted to get better acquainted. And that we, apparently without even thinking about it, stood closer to each other than any two straight men who were talking for the first time ever would.

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Reviews:Barb on Rainbow Book Reviews wrote:

This is the first time in recent years that I read a book straight through without stopping. I literally could not put this down! ‘Our Revels Now’ has everything I look for in a keeper: well-written with an interesting plot, a unique location, and fully developed characters in a real-life setting. The fact the men are in their fifties was a bonus as I love mature characters who make mature decisions.

Lachlan is a Scotsman who is retired military and a retired engineer, now doing metalwork and creative designs for a well-known jeweler, He is muscular and sturdy with a close-cropped haircut, a flair for the artistic, and a desire for commitment. Taran is Asian, an elementary teacher and seamstress, who designs clothing, tapestries, and other novelty items. His long hair, slender body, and light makeup make him appear a little fem, but not overly so, and he is a sweet, gentle man who is ready to settle down.

The two have never formally had a conversation and yet both have participated as vendors at the Renaissance Frolicke held in the LA area in stalls across from each other for years, apparently admiring the other from afar. This year, the wily organizers—who may have observed the potential attraction in past years—have placed their vendor stalls next to each other and the plan works. Both men take advantage of their closeness to strike up a conversation, then a friendship, and ultimately, a romance by the end of the first four weeks of the event.

The blurb asks “What could go wrong?” Rather than answer with the specifics of what did go wrong, I can honestly say I’m very impressed that the author came up with a believable incident to make Taran rethink his comfortable life, his profession, his artistic sewing ventures, and his growing relationship with Lachlan. And Lachlan, always calm and steady, a man who has moved through a few careers in life and is doing what he enjoys best now, knows he cares for Taran and is willing to wait until Taran sees the solution is right before his eyes.

The story is fast-paced, romantic, humorous, enjoyable, and intriguing. I love these characters so much I hate to say goodbye. I’m very impressed and most definitely will recommend this book to all my friends, especially those of us who appreciate a romance featuring personable and mature characters.

Maryann on Queeromance Ink wrote:

The annual Renaissance Frolicke is about to get started. The committee – Aja, Felice, Roger and Mark – have finalized and mailed the contracts for all the venders and acts. They have also made some very important changes with the venue and are all anxious to see how things turn out. Especially one thing that they’re keeping an eye on.

Scotsman Lachlan Beattie is fifty-five, and has lived and worked in LA for fifteen years. He retired from the RAF, where he served as an engineer. Now he works with Jan DeWitt of South Africa, who owns DeWitt Jewelry. He used to have a boyfriend, but struggled with getting into the dating world. Now he would really like to not be single and alone, and hopes to find a special someone. Lachlan’s booth for the Frolicke is the Dragon’s Forge, and he makes metalworkings with a Scottish flair.

Taran Kimura is Japanese, and close to his fifties, with an apartment in North Ridge. He’s a school teacher, artist, and loves cosplay. He’s excited about the upcoming Frolicke, and his booth Courtly Splendor, where he sells Japanese fabrics and costumes.

For four years at the Frolicke, the Dragon’s Forge and Courtly Splendor have been located across for each other. Lachlan and Taran have noticed each other every year, but never had the time to talk or get acquainted – they’ve always been too busy, with too many people to attend to and never enough time.

Now with the changes at the Frolicke, they find their booths next to each other, the chance they’ve both been thinking about. What will happen when they are finally able to get to know each other? Will it be what they both want, and desire?

Caluen creates a very sweet and romantic tale, with moments of drama, set in the heart of the workings of a renaissance fair. It’s fun to see behind the scenes – all the strategic planning and coordination that goes into these fairs, and what works and what doesn’t. I loved the names the author gave to each character’s booth.

And she goes deep with Lachlan and Taran, delving into their individual doubts and hopes for both the present and the future. Will they be able to make each others’ longtime dreams of love come true?

Our Revels Now is a very entertaining and quick read with two sweet characters, filled with banter, humor, serious moments, romance and love.


OUR REVELS NOW is a later-in-life, seize-the-day M/M romance featuring two artists.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.


As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Drama Queen

by Alexandra Y. Caluen

When set medic Koa Sanders meets actor/stuntman Loren McCall, sparks fly. Loren himself just went flying—and got knocked out—in a dangerous collision stunt, setting off all Koa’s protective instincts. At the end of the day, when Loren suggests he wouldn’t mind having someone at home for post-head-injury monitoring, Koa tells himself it’s only to make sure the actor is okay. By the time he leaves the next morning, they’ve tested the question very thoroughly…and they want to see each other again.

Loren is already thinking about drawing the line under stunt work. When his agent sends word of a potentially career-changing audition, he decides this is the time to take the leap. He’s facing a huge loss in the coming months. Getting a big part will complicate matters in a big way. But Koa’s right there, telling Loren he’ll help.

Neither man was looking for a boyfriend; neither is willing to dismiss their instant connection. Loren isn’t used to needing help; Koa isn’t used to someone wanting it. And if they get through the year’s challenges together, their lives will change forever.

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Excerpt:

When the first alarm went off, I was well into Loren’s fourth year in LA. I set the stack of paper aside and went to check on him. He was bitchy as hell about it. Once I finished running down my checklist, I apologized.

“Koa.”

The softness of my name in his mouth just about killed me. “Mmm?”

“Don’t apologize. I should apologize.”

“Hey, you warned me.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, but. I do honestly appreciate this.”

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“Let’s see what you say in two hours.” He turned over, burying his grinning face in his pillow. I managed not to pat his shoulder or anything else, managed not to wish I’d taken a good look at his back on set, almost managed not to wish I could stretch out beside him. Detoured to the bathroom to brush my teeth, then went back to the couch. Thought about what it takes to run away from what amounts to a prison, in the middle of nowhere, when you’re only sixteen, with no one to run to. ‘Tough’ was an inadequate word. I picked up the typescript again and kept reading.

After the second alarm I finally fell asleep for a while. I’d finished the book, which seemed to bring the story right up to the present day. Now I felt like I knew maybe too much about Loren, or maybe I just wanted him to know more about me. Which was why, after the third alarm, when he closed his eyes and mumbled “Don’t go,” I let myself stretch out beside him. He wriggled up against me, his back to my side, and made a pleased sound. Probably because it’d gotten a little chilly and I tend to run hot.

You would think being in bed with someone who flat-out fascinated me would’ve kept me awake. Since I’d been reading instead of sleeping, it didn’t, and I hadn’t set a new alarm. Loren showed no signs of a brain injury, there was no chance we’d oversleep, and I was comfortable.

Right up until I opened my eyes and realized I’d plastered myself to his back. One arm folded under my head, the other wrapped around him, and a serious case of morning wood. I made some kind of sound; couldn’t help a small, startled movement. Was he awake? Could I possibly get out of this without embarrassing both of us?

“No,” he said, reading my mind again. Or maybe he meant something else. He ran his hand down my arm, the one pinning him against me, and wrapped his fingers around my wrist. “You’re a cuddler.”

I cleared my throat. “Uh. Yeah. Sorry.” I could’ve pulled free, but I didn’t want to. And that grip on my wrist told me he didn’t want me to. “I read your whole book.”

“What’d you think? Too repetitive?”

“No.” That was all I could manage, because half of my brain wanted to burst into hysterical laughter and the other half wanted to pull him on top of me like a blanket, get my hands in his hair, and find out how his mouth tasted.

“If I get up to go pee, and come back to bed, will you still be in it?”

I swallowed, the urge to laugh completely gone. “Yes. I mean, if you want—"

“For fuck’s sake, Koa.”

Okay, the urge to laugh was back. He patted my wrist. I lifted my arm; he slid away, sat up, twisted around to look at me. “Never picked up a first responder before.”

Aaaand there I went, laughing. “You can put it in your book.”

“We’ll see.” He gave me this dubious expression, like there was a good chance this wouldn’t be worth writing about, except I could see two things in his eyes. First: he was about to laugh too. Second: he really, seriously wanted to kiss me.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Lesley on Love Bytes Reviews wrote:

This book is a love story between two men. One who has had an idyllic childhood in Hawaii with his loving family and one who has had it a lot tougher growing up . Neither man is in their twenties anymore and neither has been very lucky in love.

When they meet on the set of a movie that Loren is a stunt man in and Koa is on the on-set medic they immediately have chemistry that cannot be ignored . Koa cannot refuse to help Loren when he is injured following a stunt that goes a little wrong. But one night wasn’t going to be enough for either of them

Do I recommend this book? Definitely yes. It should probably come with some trigger warnings though as it has a main character who was abused by his step father & who was forced into conversion therapy .

The trigger warnings make the book sounds really sad and whilst there are definitely sad bits in the story the overall feeling of the book is one of love and found family . It’s a happy book that will leave you feeling warm inside.

It took me a couple of chapters to get with the time frames in the headers of some of the chapters , but I quickly got into the flow by chapter 5.

The main characters Loren, Koa & Annie really grabbed me. I found myself invested enough in the ups & downs within the story to want to find out what happened at each point before putting the book down . The book despite it’s name is not full of big dramatic events – just a few . There is also the long running elements of Annie’s illness and the revealing of Loren’s history with his mother.

This book does have a few steamy scenes ( not loads ) but it is so much more than just sex. There is real character development and a real story to it, but with enough sex scenes that is what you love in your M/M books you will be happy.

Four stars.

Maryann on Queeromance Ink wrote:

Koa Sanders is thirty-six, and is working his way up through the medical field: EMT, Paramedic, Physicians Assistant, and now getting experience as a set work medic. His first time on set, he’s ready to watch a car crash scene at a farmers market that’s filled with booths of all sorts. There are dozen’s of extras and two stunt people. Koa is on alert, and when one of the stunt people doesn’t get up, he gets concerned. Even though their vitals are good, he’s worried about a possible head injury. When the director calls for a second shoot, Koa objects, but is overruled – the show must go on.

Loren McCall is forty. He started in movies at the age of eighteen, a long time dream of his. He’s not a major film star, but he’s played all sorts of bit parts, in film and TV. He’s currently writing his memoirs, and works nights as a word processor for a law firm to help make ends meet. One thing Loren was taught – and believes – is to always have a job.

After the second shoot, a long conversation, and with Loren being a little wobbly, Koa wants him to go to the ER to be examined. Loren has his reasons for not going, but makes an offer to Koa to come home to look after him instead. Concerned about Loren possibly having a concussion, Koa can’t refuse. He does his job as a medic, and checks on Loren throughout the night.

As Koa and Loren become fast friends, Koa learns so much about Loren, and gets to read a draft of Loren’s memoirs. Loren grew up in a loving home, until his father, a state trooper, was killed in an accident. When his mother remarried, Loren’s life took a turn for the worse. His step-father and step-brother were abusive, and his biological brother Rob became their ally. Loren had no other choice but to run away.

There was only one person he could depend on, a state trooper and friend of his late father. From there Loren never looked back. He lived with two loving women: Annie Chesnutt, a lawyer, and Gwen McCall; bookstore owner. He did everything he could to help these two wonderful, tough ladies and loved every minute of it. He couldn’t have been happier in his new life, and they encouraged him to live his dream.

While Gwen has passed on, Annie and Loren are still very much in each others lives. Annie is not well, and both she and Loren have accepted that her time is running short.

When Koa meets Annie, things begin to change. Good things happen for Loren, including getting a staring role in a movie – a gay romance. His life becomes hectic, but Koa plans to be there for both Loren and Annie. Her condition is deteriorating, and a near tragedy with Koa makes Loren re-evaluate his life again.

Caluen has penned a wonderful – and at times heartbreaking – story about the life of Loren McCall. With all he’s lost, he’s still found those who were willing to help him, no matter what, and he’s grown to be a better man. And Koa Sanders is just adorable – laid back, calm, and has a special understanding of Loren, even when things are difficult.

The story deals with family dynamics – a family that became dysfunctional and abusive, versus one that was built on a foundation of love. It’s also about the difficult decision to reconnect with your biological family.

Koa he has a loving family in Hawaii, and has a great relationship with his sister Lani. Even though his family have hopes for his return, they they accept whatever decision he makes.

I loved the author’s depiction of Hollywood, filmmaking and actors – how they don’t always make it to the top, and how long it takes for some to get there.

I highly recommend Drama Queen, the second story I have read by Alexandra Caluen. This one really impressed me – it has all the feels and emotions to bring joy and a tear to your eye. Well worth the read!


DRAMA QUEEN is a stand-alone novel set in a contemporary story universe with character links to M/M novel GIVING IT UP and M/M novella MY HOLIDAY STAR.

About the Author

A long time ago and three thousand miles away, I wrote my first novel - a historical romance - during graduate school. Twenty years later I finally dusted it off and published it. Since then I have written and published many more novels and novellas; all romance, most contemporary. My characters (of various genders and ethnicities) range in age from eighteen to sixty-five, with the average falling in the mid-thirties. I'm inspired by authors like KJ Charles, Laurie R. King, Dick Francis, and Jennifer Crusie. I've lived and worked in Los Angeles since 1995.

Statement regarding AI: all works published under the names Alexandra Caluen and A.Y. Caluen were written entirely by the human being legally named Alexandra Y. Caluen, utilizing no AI tools. This author does not grant permission for any use of the works in machine learning or generative AI.

All cover art for the works published as A.Y. Caluen was created by the human being named RK Young. The author image used on A.Y. Caluen paperbacks was created by RK Young with AI tools.